Álora la bien cercada. Tú que estás en par del río...

 Álora la bien cercada. Tú que estás en par del río.

 

  It's been a roller coaster ride since we left Álora at the crack of dawn on November 9th. last year. As we drove up through La Plaza de la Fuente Arriba, we gave a wave to Manolo at Cafe/Bar Madrugón and shouted 'Hasta lo antes posible!' We had no idea when we´d be coming back, but we left behind us a town where road blocks were already going up on the roads and roundabouts . For an undefined period nobody would be able to enter or leave 'without a valid reason'. The National 'State of Alarm' banned all but essential travel between cities, towns and villages. We were not even sure that we would be allowed to travel as far as Bilbao on the north coast of Spain to catch our ferry home to England. In fact, we were stopped twice by the Guardia Civil, who waved us on without a word when they spotted our British plates and bulging roof bag. They were only too happy to get rid of us. The second wave of Covid 19 was on the move in Spain.

 That was nearly 8 months ago and after a series of dashed hopes we are crossing our fingers and hoping we'll be  able to go back in four weeks. 'Ojala!'.

The last 8 months have seen travel restrictions imposed, withdrawn, changed and re-imposed on a regular basis. Sometimes we were able to leave England but could not enter Spain; sometimes vice-versa and sometimes we could neither leave England nor enter Spain. At least we knew where we were with that one.

The latest UK government 'traffic light system' keeps changing all the time too. Threre's 'amber plus' now and there's talk of an 'amber watch list'. They make it up as they go along. Meanwhile Spain's vaccination programme has progressed 'sobre ruedas'. Spain now has a higher percentage of its  population with both vaccinations than Britain, Germany and the USA. There is no 'anti-vaccination' movement in Spain at the moment- the Spanish seem only to happy to have the jab as soon as they are eligible.

We have a ferry booking for Santander on September 1st. Mrs. S.has told me, 'If that ferry sails, we're on it!' You can't say fairer than that...unless, of course you've lost all your front teeth.

 Mrs. Sánchez and I have not applied for 'residencia' in Spain, so our 3 month long stays are classed as 'holidays'. A combination of the Covid restrictions and the effects of Brexit have made it very difficult for us to visit Spain as we used to. I have joined a few expat Facebook groups, such as 'Brexpats in Spain', 'Non-resident homeowners in Spain' and '180 days in Spain' and quite a few people are talking about selling up.

It's not been easy to keep connected to Alora. We haven't been away for so long in over twenty years, except for last year, of course. Lack of of practice in speaking Spanish has been the biggest worry. 'Use it or lose it'...how true. I'll be a gibbering heap the first time I go up to the 'top square' in Álora.

I found a language sharing app on the internet called 'Tandem' which was very useful for a couple of months. You just give them your details - name, language spoken,the language you're learning and main interests and then people contact you by text, voice recording or even live video link. And it's free. 

Within days I was in regular contact with people in Colombia, Peru, Bolivia, Mallorca, The Dominican Republic and a Venzuelan in  Brussels. This site is really good! I was soon getting practice  with speaking, listening, reading and writing Spanish. I've learned a lot about South America too. Some of my new pals are very serious about teaching me Spanish.  After a few weeks I couldn't keep it up.  A baker in Pasto, near Medellín was calling me almost every night (Colombia is five hours behind England). It seems to have petered out a bit now. Colombia is having big political problems on top of their Covid problems.

I still get a lot of 'partner' requests, but these are mostly from young women who, I think, are really looking for a younger person. The first one of of these I replied to turned out to be a very emotional, argumentative and drunken woman. It took me a week or two to shake her off. Requests from potential female 'partners' have petered out now since I began my communications with 'Que traes puesto?'

So how can I keep connected to Álora and Spanish life?

Mrs. S and I text and sometimes call people we know who live in Álora, mostly Brits, which helps a lot unless it's a conversation with Juan, who has been  watering our garden since last November and has just bought a new Porsche with the proceeds. He speaks Perote, which is a bit like Spanish but very fast, growly and without any consonants.

I read the web page of the Ayuntamiento for local news (www.alora.es). It's nice know that the piscina de verano is open again. They've just had an inter-pueblo swimming gala in the recently remodeled pool.  

 

What a beautiful venue!

It's been very encouraging and heart-warming to learn about all the events that the town has been organising during the Covid Pandemic to keep everyone's spirits up, especially since the Semana Santa processions were cancelled for the second year. 

I expect that the summer Feria won't take place either. We hope to get back to Álora before the 9th.September, (the Day of the Virgin of the Flowers), the patron virgin of Álora. I doubt if the annual Romeria will take place, though.

I noticed that a sculptor had come to Álora last week to sculpt, in public, and to musical accompaniment a bust of the famous character in Álora's history, Don Diego de Ribera, El Adelantado.

 

 Here's the escultor onubense (the sculptor from Huelva), Martín Lagares (on the left) with David Gutierrez, the Perote pianist who played while Martín sculpted.

 

Martín was presented with a basket of 'local produce' for doing the work. I don't know where they're going to put Don Diego  but he´s likely to melt if they leave him out in the sun - and that local produce should be consumed ASAP, especially if it includes Álora's signature dish, sopas perotas. That stuff is dry enough when it's fresh, but in THAT heat!?

David Guitierrez is one of Álora's best. For many years he was a music teacher and leader of the Álora municipal orchestra, which was a youth orchestra. Mrs.S and I observed the development of the orchestra over many years and saw it become a really impressive ensemble. All thanks to David.

A few years ago David was persuaded to stand for the position of Alcalde (Mayor) of Álora on behalf of the Partido Popular (PP). It was a closely contested election but David lost. Tragically for him the rules meant that because he had stood for election he had to resign as music teacher and Leader of the Álora Orchestra. He took up a post in Ronda and these days he leads the band of the Hermandad de Jesus  Nazareno de las Torres in Álora.

 

Don Diego de Ribera 'El Adelantado' and the Romance of Alora.

If you go up Calle Ancha to the 'Castillo Arabe' you may notice a tiled plaque on the left of the gate, not the small one, the long one. It displays The Old Romance of Álora.

 Here's a translation by Michael Newton, author of 'Álora, Portrait of a Friendly Town' and other books about Álora.

( That may be a bit hard to read, especially the Spanish version. I took a copy of it to my Spanish teacher in Birmingham and she couldn't make head nor tail of it!)

This is the story of Don Diego de Ribera 'El Adelante'. It's called 'un bello romance' on the plaque but there is no 'boy meets girl' about this tale.

I once learned this by heart in order to impress the locals in Alora but the opportunity, strangely, never came up.

A 'romance' in this sense means a poem, story or song which is passed on, by word of mouth in the local languages and dialects. These 'ballads' were usually stories of great deeds and happenings which did not have a written form. They were recited or sung in public by trovadores and juglares (singer/songwriters and minstrels) who travelled around perfoming for beer money and cigarettes*. They may have done a bit of juggling too.

*When The Romance of Alora was written, in 1434, tobacco hadn't been invented because, as everyone knows, Cristobal Colón (aka Christopher Columbus) did not 'sail the ocean blue' until 1492.

'So I have to set fire to this and breathe in the smoke, right?'

 

 The story of El Adelantado was big news back in 1434 and in 1435 too, probably, as there were no newspapers in those days (first printing press introduced in 1476) and it would take these trovadores and juglares a fair old time to get round all the towns and villages.

 

In 1434, much of Andalucia was still under Muslim rule and had been for the last 723 years. The Christian armies from the north had tried many times to conquer Álora but couldn't break through the outer walls. ('la bien cercada') This time Don Diego 'the Governor' tried again with his army and powerful guns and managed to bash a big hole in the outer wall.

You can still see parts of the outer walls of the castle. In those days the people lived inside the outer wall but could go into the main castle enclosure in times of danger. Most of the stone from the outer walls were later used to build the houses down Calle Ancha and the other streets leading down from the castle.

Basically, El Adelantado blew a big hole in the wall and so all the inhabitants grabbed what they could from their houses - gold, clothes, flour, wheat, pies, raisins and figs and fled up the hill to the main castle.

 The Christians were just about to storm the castle when a Moorish lad up in the battlements with a loaded crossbow shouted out. 'We surrender. The castle is yours, Adelantado'. Don Diego was wearing his tin helmet at the time and a bit deaf, so he couldn't see where the shouting was coming from. He raised his visor, looked up, and the lad shot him through the eye. Foolish move. Good shot. Not fair.

Think Monty Python and the Holy Grail

That was the end of the seige and Don Diego was carried away to  the medical centre, but he only had time to make his will before he died.

It was another fifty years before Alora la Bien Cercada really did surrender, a long time in those days.

The rest, as they, say is as good as a change.

 

 Juanito Sanchez, Man in Alora,  August 2nd. 2021

 

The Pandemic? They Think It's All Over. Escape to the Casa in Alora - if you dare.

 The Pandemic?

They think it's all over..........

 It is. It's all over the world.

 

Yes, apart from a few Pacific Islands, Turkmanistan and North Korea, every other country in the world has been hit by the biggest pandemic since 1918, or since records began, whichever is the earliest. (and there's a stewards' enquiry into the last two places)....and it's by no means over yet.

Even so, on Monday,  Britain entered the next phase of  Brexit Boris Johnson's ROAD TO FREEDOM. 

 

When I peered through our bedroom curtains this morning, (May 15th.), you could almost believe it was 'all over bar 't shouting' as people used to say 'up north' in an accent which is now associated with 'red walls' and racism. 

New freedoms have been announced for which we are all truly thankful. I'm just not sure what they are and if it's now safe to go out and  enjoy ourselves ...or not. I know that all the pubs, bars and restaurants can now open their doors, but we've been told we have to very careful and use our 'common sense', which is just the opposite of why we used to go to pubs anyway, and probably still is, judging by yesterday's reports.

 

  Monday night at the 'The Pig on the Wall',

 Lower Gornall.

 

I remember that not very long ago were were told that Dominic Cummings was using his common sense when he legged it to Durham and that the people who died in the Grenfell Fire should have used their common sense and disobeyed the instructions to stay inside their flats, as their walls melted in the heat.

 

 

Let's face it, common sense isn't so common.

 

 

Voltaire, which wasn't his real name, lived in the 18th.century and was a highly respected writer and philosopher, so you'd think that more people would have spotted the absence of common sense in the world well before David Cameron's decision to hold a Brexit Referendum.

 

Perhaps if Voltaire had been English, rather than French, and gone to Eton, David Cameron, Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and now pimp for a dodgy bank, wouldn't have overestimated the distribution of common sense among the British electorate and not plunged good old Britain into the god-awful mess we're in now. Oh, but he DID go to Eton, didn't he.

(I'm assuming here that regular readers will have noticed that I am not fond of Brexit and will have already abandoned this venereal organ or don't mind the odd partisan peroration.)

Voltaire (not his real name) also said, 'Il faut cultiver notre jardin'. (we must cultivate our garden) and the British really went for that pithy bit of advice.

 

 

Mrs. Sanchez and I were hoping that we might get a chance to got to Álora to sort our garden out. 

You may remember, but there's no harm in reminding you, that our 'carmen' or patio garden, starred in a much-watched episode of Channel Four's popular game show, 'A Place in the Sun', (for which I have still not received a centimo despite numerous repeats this year and good reviews on Tripadvisor.)

Well, the garden's gone downhill a bit this year as we haven't been able to go to Álora. In fact it has been described as 'una selva (a jungle) by a well-meaning neighbour.

 

                 Our garden in Alora acouple of weeks ago.

We're paying a local chap, Juan, (no relation) to water the plants once a week, but so far we've not been able to persuade anyone to do a bit of pruning, despite promising them our undying gratitude and all the grapes they can eat.

Offers would be welcome.

 

Spain has banned all visits* for all but Spanish 'residents', which we are not. Meanwhile, The English government has invented a 'road map', with 'traffic lights' which are on amber at the moment, and may, or may not, mean that travel to Spain is banned, or not,  depending on which government bright spark gets onto a radio programme to 'clarify the position'. If you manage to talk your way onto a flight to Spain, you'll still have to have two expensive PCR tests and stay in for ten days when you get back. It's worth taking a chance. At the rate they're shifting the goalposts, not many Border controllers will have a clue anyway.

 

At the moment, we can only go to Spain if we have a very very important reason, like buying a house or being related to a politician. If you have pressing matters to sort  out on Acension Island, Brunei or Tristan da Cunha, you're in luck,  if you can find someone to take you there.

 

       Tristan da Cunha. Are they taking the piss or what?

It's all to do with Covid 19, of course...or is it?

 

A few weeks ago, our English neighbours (bona fide Spanish Residents) came to the UK for 4 weeks to attend a funeral and attend to some important business. On arrival here they had to quarantine themselves for ten days. The cost of the PCR Covid tests they had to have came to £875 !! 

 

That should put most people off - along with a £150,000 fine if you try to get past Border Control with a fake letter from your dying mother, or are not really related to a politician.

 

*As I wrote this tripe, Spain has announced that they are accepting visitors from the UK now, (with both vaccinations,?) with no restrictions.

A few minutes later the EU announced that  as the UK has a lot of cases of 'the variant which originated in India' ( as we now call the 'mutant' so that India doesn't get the blame) the UK  is not on their 'white list' so we can't travel to Europe at all, unless it's to Portugal or Greece. And just as I wrote that, Brexit Boris announced they we MUST NOT GO.

 

We went to Marks and Spencers yesterday.

 

Is it just me?

 

Heroes of Alora

Number 3.

                     Juan, El Gorrón ('the Scrounger.')

 

I heard a couple of weeks ago that Juan, of Calle Ancha, had died. I wrote about him on this very blog a couple of years ago. I noticed he wasn't around when we were in Álora last October. He lived with his sister. She told me he was in hospital.

Juan scrounged for a living which, for Juan, meant raising cash to buy enough beer to be pissed by about 1.00pm. Every day he set out from Calle Ancha very early, in search of his 'lunch money.'

During the morning he would appear in the top square with something to sell that he had 'collected' earlier in the day.

Here he is with a bunch of 'manzanilla' (chamomile) which he had picked earlier in the day. He would walk long distances to the places where he knew there were pickings. After a rainy spell he'd appears with a bucket of  caracoles (snails), other times he'd have wild espárrago (asparagus), or lemons or ........and end up at Café-Bar Madrugon. On slack days he'd cadge a few euros to pay for his beer. Later he would stagger back to Calle Ancha or fall down. 

Juan was part of the Plaza de la Fuente Arriba (Top Square)

scenery and 'todo un caso' (a real character).He was also good at finding lemons and oranges for us when they were not in season, even though they were a bit green.

At a time of high employment (now only a fond memory) a 'scrounger' was still regarded by the perotes (Aloraneans) as a valid career option. 

Until the big influx of foreign residents from about 2002, the campo (countryside) around Álora had very few fences. Goat tracks criss-crossed the hills and valleys and no-one minded a bit of 'scrumping' by 'scroungers' on their land.

I almost admired him. A disappearing piece of traditional Andalucían life, like spitting and donkeys.

Mrs. Sánchez and I came across him one day as we were driving back from  Pizarra. He had a sack of swag over his shoulder and was grateful for a lift back to Álora. He didn't actually say 'Thanks' or anything; his speech was incomprehensible at the best of times, which was quite fashionable in those days among the 'locals'.

I can't remember why Mrs. Sánchez was travelling in the back seat that day - I usually allow her in the front, but Juan jumped in beside her.

If I'd checked the mirror a few times I might have noticed the struggle that was going on on the back seat. Apparently Juan had taken a liking to Mrs.S. and fancied his chances. And he wasn't even pissed!  It gave my dear lady quite a shock, I can tell you, and she was more than a little bit put out. She told me that the unsuccessful sexual assault was 'very unpleasant'.

That was the last time we gave him a lift.

 

That's all for now. 

There's a story going round that Spain is gong to enforce an existing law that means that we will not be able to invite friends and relatives from the UK to stay with us in Álora because the UK is  a 'third country' .

That's what you get for hogging all the Astra-Zeneca and leaving the European Union!!

Juanito Sánchez May21st. 2021

 

 

I 

 

 

 

 

 

The Pain in Spain. It´s coming round again.

 

They're off! 

It's all happening here in Inglaterra. Just one day to go and I can get a  haircut, buy a pair of shoes and sit outside a pub watching the snow come down as I slurp pint of cold beer. 

It's April 11th. 2021 and snow is falling. Yesterday, Saturday, our central heating boiler packed up, just after we had opened all the windows so that Ash and Paul, the electricians, could work in Covid safety. 

No heating, no electricity and no 'Sounds of the Sixties', which was cancelled because The Duke of Edinburgh had died the day before and the BBC decided that the old codgers like me, who get up at 6.00am.on a freezing cold Saturday morning to listen to the music of our distant youth, should show some respect by listening to more appropriate music, which included such morale boosters as: 

The Theme From the Deer Hunter (John Williams),

Tears in Heaven and My Father's Eyes  (Eric Clapton)

 and Do You Know Where You're Going To? (Diana Ross).

A couple of surprises were:

 'I want to Know What Love Is', by Foreigner (he was never very keen on them), and 

Crazy (Patsy Cline).

The good news is that the Grand National horse race was won for the first time by a woman, Rachael Blackmore, or as some may have it, for the umpteenth time by a horse.

They didn't have a race last year because we were all 'locked down', pretty much as we are now The 'Boat Race' was cancelled too, but this year things are obviously looking up.

                  The Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race

The Grand National horse race and The Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race, which always seem to take place on the same day, are two great British sporting events, indeed institutions, which along with the English FA Cup Final have, from time immemorial, marked the end of the British winter. -  and we're glad they are all back on this year. 

The Boat Race had to be moved to the River Great Ouse at Ely because of Covid restrictions.

Apparently, so that the 8 rowers and the 'cox' (the chap who sits facing the wrong way with his hands in his pockets and  doesn't do any work  but still has the cheek to keep shouting at the rowers to Get a f***ing move on!) are at least two metres (6.56 ft.) apart, the boats have to be twice as long and are difficult to steer round the tight bends on the River Thames. The Great River Ouse is a lot straighter.

        The Boat Race Course on The River Thames.

These world famous events make one feel  proud to be British and they lift one's spirits as one looks forward to another glorious British summer of cricket, holidays by the sea, Wimbledon and salad for tea.

 

                                An English Summer

For Mrs. Sánchez and I, that's what being British is all about, even though we have foreign-sounding names and are often told to 'get back where you came from' when we arrive back in Blighty, tanned and relaxed, after our spring sojourn in Álora.

And now that we have left the European Union and 'taken back control', such important traditional events are all the more important to us in re-establishing our national identity, post BREXIT.

This year The Grand National was won by an Irish horse ridden by an Irish jockey.

The Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race was won by Cambridge with only three out of the eight rowers being British. The 'cox' was American. 

The four English Association Football Clubs which have reached the semi-finals of the FA Cup, Chelsea, Leicester City, Southampton and Manchester City are all owned by foreign nationals (China, Abu Dhabi, Russia, Thailand)

Three out of four of their trainers/managers are foreign nationals.

Out of sixty possible players only 15 are English.

Just saying.

 

 Mrs, Sánchez and I have had our second 'jab' of The Astra-Zeneca anti-Covid 19 vaccine so we're feeling very positive and looking forward to going out again tomorrow, if we can remember where the shops are and how to drive the car.

We were due to catch the boat from Portsmouth to Santander tomorrow, but we can't go unless we pretend that we want to rent out or sell our luxury Spanish villa or on  some other laughable pretext and which would not make any difference as Spain still won't let us in yet.

They can't stop little Monty because he has a Spanish European Pet Passport, but we'd miss him.

T

                            'Please don't make me go'.

 To be honest, I'd rather be here in England at the moment, even though it´s freezing cold. The EU, and particularly Spain, is making a spectacular cock-up of things Covid -related at the moment. Their vaccination programme has only just got off the ground, they are expecting a 'fourth wave of infections' and they can't agree about crucial issues like travel, mixing in public, face masks and whether or not they want the 'British' Astra -Zeneca vaccine or not.

Part of the problem is that the Comunidades (Autonomous Regions) of Spain - Andalucia, Madrid, Murcia, Castilla-La Mancha etc. are allowed to make many of their own decisions about curfews, opening of 'hostelería' (bars, hotels and restaurants), restriction of travel between their own provinces, towns and villages and movement between one Comunidad and adjacent ones. Also, under EU rules, movement between member states is allowed.

Spanish Comunidades (Autonomous Regions)

 

This has resulted in some bizarre, conflicting rules, particularly when the Madrid Comunidad is involved. They have insisted on acting against government guidelines all through the pandemic and have one of the highest death rates in Spain, which they now  blame on the national government.

At the moment, you are allowed to leave the Madrid region but not to enter another one. You can take a plane from Madrid Airport to France, but can not travel 20 km.(12.4 miles) to visit your family in neighbouring Castilla-León.

 

                          Spanish Provincias (Provinces)

In effect, Spaniards can not move around Spain, but can move in and out of it. Also, people from any EU country can fly to Spain and travel around Spain. This has made lots of Spanish people very angry, particlarly during the Semana Santa (Easter) holiday period when many Spanish people go back to their home towns and villages for Easter and many Madrileños like to head for the beaches on the Costa Del Sol.

So... Madrid has become the party centre of Europe, particularly for young French binge-drinkers whooping it up when the locals are hell bent on getting out. Germans have been fleeing from areas in their own country with rising Covid numbers to areas like Mallorca where there is a low incidence of Covid. (at the moment).

The wearing of facemasks is causing the latest hoo-ha. The rules are as labyrinthine as the Laws of English Cricket or ´the offside rule´

You don't need to wear a mask during exercise, including swimming in the sea or in swimming pools, nor during 'rest periods', but for rivers and beaches you have to remain 'in a specific place' and keep 1.5 metres away from non-household members. You must wear a mask when you're walking to a beach or  river bank or a lakeside and in changing rooms.

You must wear a mask inside or outside a bar 'except for the moments necessary for drinking and eating'.

 

Originally, Sanidad (the Health Ministry) had said that you must wear a mask even when walking outside in the country or up a mountain, which was both unreasonable and difficult to enforce - criteria that have never been an issue in English, Welsh, Scottish and Northern Irish rules. Yes, we have our own Comunidades here, and they make their own rules too.

Of course, in Spain, you still have to wear a mask in enclosed areas and in busy public places.

'While masks should be obligatory in enclosed spaces, it is not necessary for everyone to wear one. 'What's important is that people who are infected wear one - although we don't know who is infected and who isn't.'   

Fernando Simon, head of Spain's co-ordination centre for health emergencies and alerts.

I do hope that nobody is depending on this blog for up-to-date information on wearing facemasks.

Spain is facing a fourth wave of the coronavirus which has already infected 3,326,736 people and claimed 76,037 lives.

Pie News

On a lighter, but high calorie note, I have news from Pieland.

Last week Mrs. Sánchez suggested that, as we are allowed, under the new rules to go futher than 5 miles from home, she would like to visit her sister who is currently residing in a care home in Shaw, near Oldham, Greater Manchester,

 It would have to be 'window visit' using mobile phones to communicate through a closed window. The idea appealed to me, even though it meant driving 200 miles for a half hour visit and taking two dogs with us. Of course it was worth the trip! They hadn't seen each other for over a year. How could I object to such a 'mercy mission'?

I had received a tip-off from a usually unreliable scource that the Shaw branch of Asda stocked Holland's Pies.  

                        A happy Holland´s Haficionado

So off we went, equipped with a pre-primed cool box to transport the frozen pies back to Brum.

This was the first time we had driven any distance in England during Easter in 20 years. We are usually in Álora at this time of the year, and in April last year we were under house arrest in Birmingham. Can you believe it? Asda was closed! All the shops were closed. There was not a pie to be had in the whole town, not even for ready cash.

I sometimes think they go a bit over the top in Álora during Semana Santa (Easter), and I admit it was Easter Sunday, but surely this is taking Christianity a bit too seriously.  No pies!!?

Mrs. Sánchez and her sister had a nice chat, but the day was a  soured by the failure of my unsuccessful piegrimage.

On Tuesday I rang the Holland's Pie factory in Baxenden, deep in the beautiful and relatively unknown, Lancashire Dales, and asked  where I might find a Holland's pie in the Midlands. I'd already tried Asda and Iceland. I got through to Mrs. Wainthropp, Head of Pie Location, UK Division.

          Mrs, Wainthropp. Head of Pie Location, Holland's

'If it's a meat pie you're after you may be out of luck as they are rather regional.' said Mrs. Wainthropp,

 So much for globalisation.

And yet, after a couple of minutes of pie perusal, she came up with Farm Foods in Acocks Green, just ten minutes drive away. 'They had an order from us two weeks ago. 24 steak and kidney pies, two dozen steak puddings and 25 meat pies.'

I rushed round there and bought the lot.

Best Wishes

Juanito Sánchez April 12th. 2021.

 

A Variety of Virus and Vaccine Vacuities and some very important advice before you travel.

 

 A Variety of Virus and Vaccine Vacuities and some very important advice before you travel.

Well, who'd have thought it eh? Just as it was getting safe to go out again, along comes a 'mutant virus' (technically a 'variant') to spoil everything again. Typical! At least this time it was British. None of that Chinese muck for us now. Bigger, stronger, very sociable and just the ticket to take us into the new era of Boris's Brexit Britain. Someone up there must have a sense of humour, not to mention a keen ironic bent, even if I haven't. 

But now here comes another one...and another! South Africa, Brazil, and I've heard that the Turks and Caicos Islands (Hello everyone!) are developing a Caribbean version. They've already got a Novichok variant in Russia. Just as well that there are so many vaccines being developed, too.

Mrs. S. and I have already chosen the 'Oxford' vaccine because it's British, it sounds so intelligent and traditional, and John Lewis are stocking it. No side effects so far!

                        A rare photo of Snr. Sánchez.

A long time ago in December, when Mrs. Sánchez and I completed our 2 weeks in quarantine at home, following our stay in Álora, we couldn´t wait to run out and buy the biggest Christmas tree we could find and put our Christmas lights up outside to show our neighbours how optimistic we were that things were going to get better soon. They didn't, did they?

I must say we were expecting to get a visit or a phone call from Boris Johnson or somebody official to make sure we were staying in. No such luck! They were only kidding about  checking up on quarantine after all! We didn't realise it was just a Christmas prank. Oh, that Boris! he doesn't know when to stop. How we laughed! Monty was not amused.

They say that an optimist is 'someone who isn't in full possession of the facts'. They were right this time. 

 

                                              An optimist

Luckily we managed to cram the car with cheap Spanish wine from Hipercor in Santander on the way back from Spain so the days haven´t seemed so long. We're back to 'duty free allowances' the next time we go - whenever that might be.

I don't know about you, dear reader, but I'm getting fed up with turning on the telly just to see some scruffy, unshaven, homebound, lockdown-fatigued loner poking his big, fat, distorted face at me to tell me how bad things still are. 

 Thank goodness for Netflix... and click and collect... and red wine. 

 

It´s February now and the red wine is running out faster than Dominic Cummings (remember him?) legging it down Downing Street on his way to Barnard Castle to get his eyes tested. We're back where were were in March. It's like deja vu all over again for the second time, again.

Last Spring and Summer weren't too bad at all, when I look back, even if we could only go out once a day unless we were going out to buy food. We spent most of the time in our palatial, well-stocked English garden.

 

We hardly go out at all now, even though we are are partly protected against the Coronavirus. There´s nowhere to go anyway and it's too cold and wet to sit in the garden.

At least the weather is good in Álora. They had a bit of rain there a few weeks ago, which was good for the olives but it's been warm and sunny since. They've only just shut down the bars and restaurants there, as Covid cases have started rising rapidly. I hope it's not the 'British Variant'. We're in enough trouble there for leaving the EU without taking the blame for el lockdown number two as well. The Scots have wasted no time in distancing themselves from any blame by going for independence again. Did you know that the centre of Great Britain is at Haltwhistle, by Hadrian's Wall? Well it is, so the UK stands to lose half its geographical area to Scotland....and all because of Brexit. Can things get any worse?

They did yesterday when I dropped my mobile phone and smashed the screen. There was nobody around to blame, which was bad enough, but all the mobile phone shops are shut and my new online replacement will take a week to get here from Hangzhou.

Apart from not being able to WhatsApp funny videos and argue with strangers on Facebook, this catastrophe has seriously affected my lockdown Spanish-learning plans.

I have just built up a team of Spanish speakers from all over the world who want to help me with my Spanish skills. I downloaded the TANDEM app., entered a bit of personal information and the language I was learning and, Bob's your uncle, I am now chatting with Spanish speakers in Columbia, Bolivia, Peru and Columbia ...there seem to be a lot of people in Columbia wanting to help me with my Spanish.

 

Many of my new friends are quite young and all  the ladies are very attractive although so far not one of them has replied to me after my initial message asking them where they live and what they are wearing. I think something has been lost in translation.

 It looks as though Álora is getting over the peak of the Coronavirus second wave. The Monday market at the bottom of Calle Carmona is going to take place again next Monday and Álora has been moved down a category from Alert Level 4 grade 2 to grade 1. That means that the bars and restaurants can reopen in a limited way. BUT.... the bar and owners there have decided not to take advantage of the relaxation  'en un ejercicio de responsibilidad y solidaridad con la situación sanitaria en nuestra localidad.' ( to show responsibility and solidarity for the health and safety of our town).

I feel so proud that the Perotes have decided only to re-open 'paulatinamente' (gradually) as more data comes in about infection levels.

 

Good news for visitors to Europe

 

 

Here's a picture of Mrs. Sánchez showing off her new Global Health Insurance Card.

 

Remember the EHIC card?

 

 

One of the most disappointing consequences of the UK leaving the European Union on December 31st. 2020 was that the EHIC card would no longer be valid. It used to entitle all UK residents to emergency  treatment in other EU countries. A few weeks ago there was a small reprieve allowing us the same rights until the card expired.

 

Mrs. S. and I have used the card and its predecessor, the E111 cetificate, more than once in the last 20 or so years we have been visiting Álora. Health Insurance for long stays has always been expensive so we have always relied on this magic little card. 

It was free and saw us through two broken legs and a broken arm. 

 

We were quick off the mark to try and renew our EHIC cards before the deadline. No luck, but on Friday Mrs. Sánchez received her shiny new all- British Global Health Insurance Card (GHIC) which appears to give the same cover,

Nothing for me so far.

If you're thinking of visiting Álora when we´re allowed out again, get one of these little fellers ASAP, especially if you´re above a certain age and you want to stay longer than two weeks.

I'm not sure if the Spanish Health Service has heard about it yet.

The next thing to sort out is Monty's Pet Passport.

 

Juanito Sánchez February 7th. 2021