Wednesday, 2 February 2022

Man Not In Álora at the Moment looks at Packets, Pasty's, Piano Stools and the First Gay King of England,

 

The Falmouth Packet


A Happy New Year to all our readers.

I expect that both of you have had Covid by now, that is if you've been living in the (still) United Kingdom as we have. 66.6 % of our kids have had it, plus all our nephews and nieces and their kids, several friends, and next door's gerbil.

That Omicron mutant really 'kicks ass'. When we left Álora at the end of November they were finding one or two cases a day in the town. At the moment they are well into double figures there and now the overall rate in Spain is 2880/100,000.) January 2022 saw the highest number of Covid cases there since the beginning of the Pandemic.

Fortunately Omicron is a bit of a pussy cat and isn't killing as many people as those other lethal Greek items: Beta, Delta, Retsina and Ouzo. Most people here in Inglaterra have been wearing mascarillas (face masks), and many still are, even though our Prime Minister (at the time of writing), Boris Johnson, says we don't have to anymore. 

Mrs.Sánchez and I aren't taking any chances. 


                      Hasta ahora todo bien (So far, so good.)

We won't be ´filmed up' when we head  back to Spain in a few weeks on the new Brittany Ferries ship 'Galicia', but the rules on board the ferry follow the rules in France, where Covid cases are still going por las nubes (sky high). We´ll see.

 

                                         MV Galicia

The MV Galicia is a bit of a disappointment. There is absolutely no on board entertainment even though the journey takes hours longer than the good old MV Pont Aven and if you want to check your phone there´s no signal or wifi unless you pay for it. Mrs. S. and I whiled away a few enjoyable hours 'making our own amusement' as they used to do in the old days.

I spy with my little eye something beginning with 'S'.

'Sea'

'No'

'Sky'

'No'

'I give in'

Mrs. S and I used to look forward to sipping a couple of glasses of Muscadet in the 'Piano Bar', followed later by the usually spectacular International Cabaret later in the evening. Mrs. S loves a good juggler. Monty liked the ´Dog Show´, too. He won a rosette for ´Best Trick' once. It´s just no fun anymore.

We had no problems transporting our delicious olive oil back to Birmingham despite 'Brexit jitters'. Sales are going well.

 

Liquid sunshine         

You can imagine that after 3 months of 'Valle del Sol' sunshine, Birmingham might be a bit of a let-down, and you'd be right. In addition to the cold, damp weather and dodging Omicron, we've had to put up with an unrelenting diet of Boris Johnson. It's become a national occupation to follow the twists and turns and antics of this dreadful mountebank with a toddler haircut, as he's smirked and lied his way through December and January. I don't know how he keeps it up! 

 

Boris Johnson’s £840-a-roll gold wallpaper ‘keeps falling down’ as decorators called back in

 
Apparently he can't!

It's a good job we had a better Christmas than last year to give us a break from all this excrement..

Mrs. S. and I entertained our substantial  family at our winter residence in a fashionable suburb of England's 'second city' on Christmas Day (all the rules and guidelines were followed, of course). Everyone had tested negative before the Roast Butternut Squash and Harissa soup, but that didn't stop me checking my temperature for the next 7 days.

 

 

Phew!

At the beginning of the New Year, in a deperate attempt to improve my piano playing, I put in a bid on ebay for a piano stool and 'won' it for £25.00. It's not a good idea,is it?, to bid in an auction when you've had a glass or two of wine, but this was a bargain. The only snag was that I had to collect it from Falmouth, in Cornwall, 263 miles (423 km.) away.

'We really need a break away', said Mrs. S., so off we popped to Falmouth for a few days.

 If you´ve never been to Falmouth you´ve missed a treat.

It was called 'Smithwick' until 1660 but had to change its name after complaints from a town near Birmingham with a similar name. Some people still call it 'Pennycomequick', which I think is rather nice.

 

Even though it's miles from anywhere, except Truro, it's a thriving historical town with lots of pubs and restaurants, proper shops and a big castle built by Henry the Eighth in 1540 to keep out the nasty foreigners who, in those days were the Spanish, from sailing up the River Fal and capturing Truro.

                            William 'King Billy' of Orange
 

The plan went well until 1688 when William of Orange, a Dutch foreigner with a fondness for handsome young men and pipe bands, landed a few miles up the coast at Brixham with 463 ships and 40,000 young sailors and conquered Britain como si nada, without a cross word or a shot being fired.

'Welcome to Blighty chaps. Cream teas for everyone on the vicarage lawn'

Our History books call this 'The Glorious Revolution' instead of The Dutch Invasion' and it's got nothing to do with Falmouth and even less to do with Álora.

If William of Orange had known about the pasty's in Falmouth I bet he would have landed there.


So THAT'S the plural of pasty!...and they should know, so there you are, all you punctuation pedants!

In the Cornish language apostrophe's are compulsory.

I've no idea where this Falmouth story is going but I'll just mention that I noticed my car needed two new front tyres just after we arrived.  I called in at Falmouth Tyres where the nice chap there slapped on a couple of new ones and told me where to get the best pasty's (not too spicy, just enough gravy).

'Warren's, in Truro', he said. 'but they've got a shop here in Falmouth. The baker is 97 years old.'



 I bought two large ones...one to eat and one to take home. They were delicious.

Although you won't hear anyone talking about it, Falmouth played a big part in supporting the slave trade trade by being The Royal Mail Package Station.  

 


From 1689, Falmouth 'Packet Boats' sailed from Greenbank Harbour initially to Spain, but later, as the British Empire expanded, to America and the West Indies, delivering mail and valuable packages and sometimes passengers, in much discomfort, to the colonies. At one time there were 39 boats regularly making the crossings. 

Lord 'Mad, Bad, Seasick and Dangerous to Know' Byron made the trip in 1809.

Because normal passenger ships couldn’t sail during the wars, people travelling overseas had to go on the packet ships instead. The famous poet Lord Byron did this in 1809, when he sailed to Portugal. He found the experience very unpleasant and wrote a comedy poem about the noise, heat and seasickness he found on his trip.

I bet he did.

It wasn't so funny at the time.

The Ships' captains, officers and crew either lodged or lived in Falmouth. That's how the town grew and prospered and that's why there are so many pubs.

 

                              Can I come out now?

Now that here in the UK most of the Covid restrictions have been removed and we are able to get out about a lot more, I have been reminded of one of the main reasons I love going back to Álora and it's because the people there are naturally friendly and  always happy to see us when we meet around the town. I can't say it's a Spanish or even Andalusian characteristic but I'm absolutely certain it's true in Álora.

It's taken me twenty years to work out why this is the case. I think I have the answer and it's all down to eye contact.

 or lack of it......

Mrs. Sánchez and I both grew up in a Lancashire town where most people used to say 'hello' to anyone, whether they knew them other or not. When we moved to the Midlands we realised that a lot of people found such behaviour unsettling, threatening even, but that hasn't stopped us doing it. Our default behaviour is to look for eye contact and say 'Hello'.

 


And that´s how people are in Álora. I hadn't realised I was doing it but I always look at people's faces when we pass. If we make eye contact I'll probably smile and say 'Hello' or 'Hiya' or even 'How do!' . Round here many people walk with their eyes down so, no eye contact, message received.  In Álora they are nearly always looking for eye contact. During the last twenty years there I am on 'greeting terms' with literally hundreds of locals and I don't know the names of half of them. But the odd thing is, that once you've exchanged an  'Holá', they will remember you and  greet you every time after that....and 'Holá' is such an easy thing to say.

Well, that's my theory. Try it out tomorrow.


 

The build-up to Semana Santa (Holy Week) has already kicked off. The Hermandades and Cofradias in Málaga have started publishing their posters, so Álora's won't be far behind. I can tell you that even the least religious of perotes will be praying that the festivities can go ahead this year after two years of Covid cancellations.


When we were in Álora last September we were impressed by a beautiful mural being painted on walls on the left of the one- way system. It was finished by the time we left. It's called 'El Mural de Lalone' and has been entered for the 'Best Urban Mural in the World 2022' competition.

You can vote for it from February 6th. by following the link above.


The other big news, especially for cyclists, is that the Ayuntamiento has installed
un punto de reparación y mantenimiento de bicis, a bicycle repair point, at the edge of town. It contains screwdrivers and spanners and is at the Fuente de la Mania roundabout, which is the one with the big arch on it. It's free to use and is intended for the thousands of cyclists that pass through Álora every year.

I can't wait to get back. It's not easy being 'Man in Álora in Birmingham.

               The most expensive piano stool in the world
 

Juanito Sánchez February 2nd. 2022.

 




 



 


 

 


 


Wednesday, 17 November 2021

When is a fountain not a fountain? Why is Spain ahead of its time? What did the Romans ever do for Álora? Where did all the pies come from?

 

 


The nights are drawing in. The clocks went back two weeks ago and here in sunny Álora we're still an hour ahead of The UK, Britain, Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and The British Isles. They never seem to catch up...even after BREXIT... (Don't talk to ME about BREXIT!!). 

My hermana y cuñado (sister and brother-in-law) arrived here the day they went back (that doesn't sound right, even though her visits are usually 'visitas relampagos' (lightning visits)) but, as it turned out, she had put her watch back two hours and they arrived a week before they left.

                             The Greenwich Meridian

According to The Greenwich Meridian, Spain should be on the same time as Great Britain and Northern Ireland and not an hour ahead. Not many people know this, but General Franco, who ruled Spain from 1938 to 1975, was such a chum of Adolf Hitler and an admirer of all things German, that he ordered all the Spanish clocks to be on the same time as Berlin, which is in Germany, an hour ahead of GMT, and nobody can be bothered to change the Spanish clocks back, except once a year.  

            'Look, Mama, it´s me, with my best mate, Adie'.
              'Stop calling me so late at night, dummkopf!'

Mrs. Sánchez never changes the time on her watch unless the battery runs out, which it did a few weeks ago. They were able to change the battery at a local jeweller's for a couple of euros, which was a surprise to me. They change batteries but don't change watch straps...you have to go to the barber's for that.

For a small town (13.500 habitantes) there´s been a lot going on here since we arrived and everyone is trying to get back to behaving normally. The 'Día de las Sopas Perotas' kick-started a whirl of social events. Two years, starved of the processions of Semana Santa, has left the  Áloreños hungry for a whiff of incense, the sound of drums, a marching band and candles.

Here´s the first one that has been just up our street since April 2019.

It's good old 'Santo Cristo Crucificado de los Estudiantes' who usually gets an airing on Good Friday.

Más vale tarde que nunca' (Better late than never). They´ve had one a week since then.

 

 'It's Easter, Jaime, but not as we know it'.

Málaga went the whole hog last week and had a near-total re-run of the Semana Santa processions... 16 of them in one night. They put on a free coach from Álora. It was full.

 

I hope they know what they´re doing...not much social distancing going on there.😮

During October, Spain had been recording low numbers of cases of Covid 19 (as low as 40 cases per 100,000), but the numbers are creeping up again, and are up to 80 per 100,000 again.

Mrs. Sánchez and I, being of a certain age, were offered a booster jab in Birmingham a few weeks ago, so we decided to dash back there for one (each), just in case it becomes part of the ´Covid Passport' requirements.  (OPERATION BOOSTER).(*see stop press, below).  Also, cases have been rising over there rapidly and we want to be ´fully vaccinated' when we return at the end of November. We got a 'flu jab here in Álora at the local health centre first. Then we booked flights and set about arranging a lateral flow test for when we arrived, printed off our vaccination certificates and battled  with the UK 'Locator Form'.


Luckily for us there are now lots of Facebook groups that are helping fellow Brits to avoid falling foul of all the post- Brexit and Covid travel regulations.They have names like ´Non-resident Spanish home-owners', '180 days in Spain', 'Brexpats in Spain' etc.

Nobody wants to get turned back at the airport for not filling out a form properly, do they? You would not believe the anxiety that is expressed on these sites! Air travel was unpleasant enough before Covid and Brexit but it´s a whole new world of pain and suffering now. I´m amazed that anybody wants to travel at all.

´Can I take my corned beef sandwiches on the plane?'

'What if they don't stamp my passport?'

'Will my cat need a Covid jab?'

'What if my husband dies on the plane?'

and so on....

It's a good job there's Deborah Darling of Non resident Spanish Homeowners.

Deborah knows EVERYTHING., and it's her REAL name too!

                                        WARNING.
The next section of this exciting edition of 'Man in Álora' is not recommended for people with weak bladders or submechanophobia . It's all about fountains.

On the same day as Sopas Perotas, Álora's new fountain was unveiled. The work has been going on for about twenty-two years, and so a large expectant crowd gathered outside the barber´s shop of Paco y Pepe (Pepe has retired), where the new fountain has been built. At a given signal,our alcalde (mayor) Francisco Martinez Subires, accompanied by his 14 trusted concejales  (councillors), gave a little speech and turned on the water. What joy! 


 

 

Three days later, a team of técnicos (specialists) moved in to prune the two palm trees, which involved heavy machinery to move the stone blocks.


Within a week, when I passed  the new Fuente d'Arriba ('The Fountain Above), water was pouring over the road and now it´s not working at all. I spoke to the técnico who was in the big 'reservoir'. 'Not enough sealant', he declared. 

                            Where's all the water gone?

Here´s a picture taken a long time ago. It shows the old 'fuente' in the centre of Álora at the bottom of Calle Santa Ana where in the olden days, before 'corporation pop', people, usually nearly always women, would go to fill up their cánteros (big ceramic water containers) or garrafas (big glass bottles in a cane basket). It looks like jolly hard work. It´s no wonder the blokes got out of doing it! 

It's in the same place as the new one.

The old  'Fuente Arriba'


Garraffas

 

Cánteros. (with wide necks to catch the water)
 

The water in the old fuente came from a natural spring and it flowed from the spouts 24 hours a day without a grifo (tap) and the water was free, too. There were numerous spring water fuentes around Álora before 'mains' water was available. The ones you see around town now have taps and supply 'purified' town water, still free, though.

As far as I know, the only remaining one spouting spring water is La Fuente de Pedro Sánchez (no relation) which is tucked away at the foot of Monte Hacho opposite the Los Conejitos restaurant.


 

La Fuente de la Higuera, outside the La Higuera Restaurant on the Ardales road was declared no potable (undrinkable) a few years ago. It used to be very popular indeed.

  

La Fuente Romano up on the Canca, opposite the ruins of the Roman Villa, dried up mysteriously a few years ago. We used to use it a lot. The water suddenly dried up after at least 2000 years of use. This happened at about the same time a massive fruit plantation appeared close by. Well, well.

    La Fuente Romana before the water 'disappeared'.


These two fuentes were very popular with country people. I used to have to drive up the La Fuente de La Higuera at the crack of dawn to avoid the crowds. The Roman Fountain was less popular. The drain got blocked up and  water filled up the enclosure. The threat to life and the unsightly layer of discarded plastic bottles floating on the surface put a lot people off. Also, giant frogs lived there.

Many non-Spaniards tend to think of a fountain as an ornamental structure, like the much maligned ones now in the Plaza de la Fuente Arriba (Top Square), but a fuente, or fountain was the name for all these 'springs'. A 'fontenero' is a plumber.

Many ex-pats, and many Perotes, too, will tell you how much they miss the ´Fountain with the Lions' which was the one before the present duo.


                           La Fuente de los Leones

Manolo of El Cafe-Bar Madrugón in the 'Top Square' will tell you he can remember at least five fountains in the plaza, which is not bad going when you consider that until the 1950's there was no plaza there at all! 

Until 1936 the whole of the bottom part of the Plaza, up as far as Cafe-Bar Madrugón was occupied by a convent, which got burned to the ground by Republicans at the beginning of Spain's Guerra Civil (Civil War) 1936-38.

The present plaza - it's a triangle, not a square, was originally raised several feet above ground level. It had steps up to it and there was no fountain, ornamental or otherwise.

THEN


 


 






NOW
 

Bar News

We were very sad to learn that Cafetería Azahar, opposite Calle Carmona and hosted by Candelaria, had closed its doors. We have have spent many many happy hours there over the years -  at first when Candelaria's husband Antonio Santiago was alive and it served the best tapas in Álora, and later on when Candelaria bravely continued to run it, but only opening in the mornings.

The good news is that four new bars have opened since we were here a year ago.

Hemispherium has opened in Calle Carmona, where two previous bars were, and where the estate agents Calderón used to fleece gullible followers of 'A Place in the Sun ' in the 'wild west days' of the early 2000s, when I once counted 15 estate agents in Álora. There are two, now.

Hemispherium continues the trend set by Casa Abilio and El Taller, serving modern versions of traditional Andaluz grub. It's a bit pricey, though.


La Taverna de Álora
,
which has replaced a long succession of bars in a prime spot on Calle Cervantes appears to be cashing in on the success of El Caminito del Rey and ´'Good luck' to them.

The food is very good and the staff are friendly, cheerful and efficient. I´ve tried twice, without success, to get through their massive bowl of 'patatas bravas'.



La Peña Flamenca
(The Flamenco Club) has moved from its hideaway in Callejón Pepe Rosas , or under Bar Bernabe, to the old Correos (Post Office) Bar which has had more changes of ownership than any bar in Álora that I know of and has never been any good since Lars shut up shop over ten years ago. Poker-faced Lars first opened it as a bar-restaurant serving Spanish-Swedish fusion food nearly twenty years ago.


Correos - when it was the Post Office.



La Posada has opened again. This time it's being run by the lovely Rosa, who's mum lives opposite us. It's down the hill to the left of Bar Alegría, on Calle Rosales (which isn't called that now but I'm not going up Algarrobo just to find the 'new' name) In the Good Old Days before the 2008 Crash, Rosa had three bars around the town. Who can remember the Moroccan one, on Calle Cervantes run by Rosa's even lovelier daughter, Fatima?

Good luck Rosa!

Pie News 

There's not usually much Pies News when we're in Álora. 

Regular readers of this venereal organ may remember that I tried to introduce British pies to Álora with no success. They never seemed to have caught on in Spain. Mrs. Sánchez will tell you that a proper pie is made with hot-water pastry and is 'raised'. In Lancashire they are called 'stand pies.' The Spanish 'empanadas' or empadadillas(small empanadas) are shaped like a pasty and so not, technically, a pie at all.

A Proper Pie (Greenhalgh's from Bolton)
 
 

Imagine my surprise on returning to Álora after a long absence to see this!!!

Slap bang in centre of town a shop has opened which sells all kinds of British food. It appears that ex-pats here in Andalucía, the region of Spain which has always been known as the most ´Spanish' of all, can not do without such typical British favourites as Brown Sauce, Yorkshire Tea, Werther's Originals, Patak's cook-in Sauces and pies.


Tom, originally from Cumbria, which used to be part of Lancashire, or vice-versa, stocks a dazzling nostalgic array of colourful and appetizing tins and jars.

'What sort have pies have you got, then? I enquired with more than a little disbelief in my tone.

'All kinds'. replied Tom as he opened the lid of a vast chest freezer waist-deep on frozen savoury pastries.


And he has got 'all kinds' too. All of them are 'Jumbo' but I checked the long list of ingredients and none of them contained any elephant meat. The 'Jumbo Steak and Kidney' and the 'Jumbo Mince and Onion' particularly caught my eye.

I resisted the temptation to stock up with a few. -  our freezer in Birmingham has a compartment dedicated to that queen of pie brands, 'Hollands' of Baxenden. But the truth is I don't want to eat Meat Pies in Spain, any more than I want to eat paella or gambas pil pil in Birmingham....'When in Rome...'

'I bet you haven't got any Hollands', 

'I bet I have! ' exclaimed a grinning Tom, jubilantly.

and, after boldly plunging most of his bare arm into the icy depths of the 'pie chest', he produced a packet of Holland's Cheese and Onion Pies like a rabbit out of a hat.

 

I think I can detect a gradual invasion of a pie-eating culture here in Andalucía, albeit still at the 'pasty' stage, in which Cornwall has been stuck for centuries.

This shop opened in Málaga just a few months ago.


 


'They're pies, Jim, but not as we know them'.

And finally....a big welcome to Mr.and Mrs. C*nt who have moved into Calle Zapata, just above the steps up from Calle Atrás.


 
Hasta luego.

Juanito Sánchez 17th. November 2021.


* STOP PRESS........

Brexit 'The UK is NOT corrupt' Boris Johnson has just said that the third jab will be essential for foreign travel, soon.

I shouldn't worry, he'll probably have changed his mind again by the time you read this.