Álora's first mobile Flamenco performer and 'Cursed be the flies of your land.'

Álora's first mobile flamenco performer and 'Cursed be the flies of your land'.

First of all here is the answer to last week's competition. I received no entries at all, (except one from a Mrs. Sánchez who I suspect to be a close relation and therefore must be disqualified) which was rather surprising given the high quality of the prizes and the interesting subject. The question was:
What do these three have in common?

Of course, the answer was:

Me siento como una mosca en la leche ( I feel like a  fly in the milk') and
Me siento como un pulpo en un garaje ( I feel like an octopus in a garage)

both mean 'I feel like a fish out of water'.
The Bishop of Ghana said that he didn't fancy being pope because he'd feel........well

No competition this week, or ever.

                                                                  Andrés


This is Andrés. He can be seen most mornings in  La Plaza de la Fuente Arriba driving round the square on his shiny motorbike singing flamenco at the top of his voice. Usually he has his dog 'Pinuto' on the pillion.I don't think he is being paid to do it by the ayuntamiento. Indeed, the other day he parked right outside the door of the ayuntamiento and spent a good hour polishing his bike and singing loudly whilst two policía eyed him suspiciously but were not moved to join in with the singing.

                                                       Andrés with 'Pinuto'

I suspect that he may be asked to stop doing it soon.

Last Sunday, Mrs. Sanchez and I fancied a day out so off  we went to Alozaina for the first re-enactment of the historic but so far uncelebrated heroic defence of the town by Maria Sagredo in 1570. Alozaina also hosts the annual 'Day of the Olive' in September which attracts hundreds of visitors. I was hoping to find the same cheese stall that was in Casarabonela last year for it's 'Day of the Spanish Inquisition' (see Man In Alora September 2013). I bought a piece of cheese there which I can still taste 8 months later.

Unfortunately the only stalls there were selling dodgy pottery, drinks and tapas. I had a beer and Mrs. Sanchez had a 16th. century rustic pot cup of wine called 'mosto' which comes from Yunquera, the next village up the road and tasted like piss. It ended up in a plant pot of marigolds. Lots of people were dressed up as 'people from a long time ago'. The programme said there would be a series of enactments on a specially constructed stage.The One o'clock show, 'Allah Akbar' had not started by 2 o'clock but the patient audience stood patiently in the midday hot sun sipping their mosto and watching a nasty little boy going up to the other kids (all in fancy dress) and slapping them across the face or thumping them in the chest  This went on for 15 minutes or so  and was quite entertaining and helped to pass the time. No one  seemed to mind these brutal shenanigans but Mrs.Sánchez and I discussed the various painful punishments which might do him a bit of good.

Apparently, in 1570, 78 years after Ferdinand and Isabella expelled all the Jews and 'moors' (muslims) from Spain there were still a few disgruntled Islamic terrorists hiding up in the mountains waiting for a chance to sweep down on Alozaina and impose Sharia law and ban pork products,Cruzcampo, San Miguel and castanets. One day, when all the men of fighting age were away in Casarabonela buying cheese, the 'moriscos' took advantage of the situation and attacked the town. They killed Maria Sagredo's father, so she 'grabbed a crossbow and heroically defended the walls of Alozaina'. When the other women saw her bravery they joined in by chucking beehives down at the terrorists. The scene now forms part of the town's coat of arms.

                                   Maria Sagredo throwing beehives at the 'moriscos'

If this wasn't enough to send them on the run, the women then shouted, ' Cursed be the flies of your land!' and they all ran away.

                               a few enthusiastic 'actors' waiting for it all to start.


By 2 o'clock we were not the only people who were fed up with the wait so nos piramos and drove up the road to Jorox (pronounced 'horrocks') where a nice chap called Antonio, who has the only bar in the village, gave us some paella and salad. Very nice too.

                                
                                                                  Jorox


Yesterday one of my shoelaces was on the point of breaking so I went to a shoe shop to buy some new ones. 'Sorry we don't sell them, try the ferretería (ironmonger)'. No luck. I asked around and finally found a pair in the estanco (tobacconist) belonging to the Consigliere family in the main square. Matilde was busy serving someone with bacalau  (salt cod) when I went in.

May 20th. 2014

An octupus in the garage. A fly in the milk and the Bishop of Ghana.

What have an octopus in a garage, Cardinal Turkson of Ghana and a fly in milk got in common?





This week's competition should hold no difficulty for readers of this intellectual organ. As usual, answers on a postcard inside an envelope with the customary 5€ note please, and mark the envelope "Soraya Saenz,  Deputy Prime Minister of Spain".

I read today that most people are less interested in learning the truth than being entertained, so here goes.

In Álora you are never far from a fiesta which can mean a party or a holiday. Foreign residents in Spain could be excused for thinking that public holidays happen almost every week. This year Spain has.nine public holidays which are nearly all linked to Jesus or Mary. El Día del Trabajador (May 1st.), El Día de la Constitución (December 6th.) and New Year's Day are exceptions  Some provinces  also have a day off for El Día de la Hispanidad (October 12th.) which also happens to the day of the Virgin of Pilar, patron virgin of the good old Guardia Civil or 'La Benemérita' as it is never called.
With any luck most of these holidays will fall on a Thursday or a Friday so everyone with a job can make a long weekend of it or puente (bridge) and go back to work on Tuesday if they feel up to it. Some don't make it back to work as road deaths peak  during the long weekend.
How different from England and Wales, land of 'hard working people', where there are eight 'bank holidays' this year

We had the Mayday puente last week. Festivities included a big demo in Málaga, a procession of Álora's 'Virgen de la Cabeza' (head) down by the station , painting in the Plaza de la Fuente Arriba and the 3rd. Fiesta del Meceero (Festival of the Swing) in Calle Negrllos.

This a very old tradition going back two years and celebrates swinging eligible young girls over the steep streets while people sing coplas (short songs) about them. Some of them extol the beauty and virtue of the swinger; some are rude. Pepe Rojas led the singing. Mrs. Sánchez had a go on the swing too. The word 'capullo' seemed to crop up a lot in the songs. In the dictionary it says the meaning is 'bud' but 'wanker' is another local interpretation .



                 Mrs. Sánchez. Was she pushed?

Pepe sang a copla to me too . I didn't understand a word of it but everyone seemed amused.

                                       Some of  The Independent Artists of Álora


Just round the corner from Calle Negrillos a group of Álora artists were busy painting and sketching because they wanted to. The pictures were displayed at the end of the day. Everybody in Álora had been invited but only six turned up. I expect everybody else  was watching the procession of the Virgin, swinging in Calle Negrillos or  demonstrating in Málaga. Incidentally, but fascinating too, is the fact that here in Álora if you want to get out of doing something you just have to say, 'Lo siento pero tengo que ir a Málaga' (Sorry I've got to go to Málaga) and everyone will accept it as a reasonable excuse.

When you drive back from Málaga to Álora on the N357 you may notice a big new building on the right near Cartama. It's El Centro Hospitalario de Alta Resolución de Especialidades del Guadalhorce. This is the new hospital that will serve the towns and villages of the Guadalhorce valley, which includes Álora and will serve over 105,000 very patient patients It has cost 22 million euros and I'm sure you will agree it is a lovely building.

                                                         Our new hospital


We have been waiting for it since 2005. The building was finished several years ago but there was no money for equipment and no electricity supply which along with doctors, nurses and other hospital staff are essential items in any self respecting hospital. There has been a longstanding  plataforma (campaign) in the area to get the hospital opened before it starts falling down.

                                                   Open the Hospital Now!


Here's the Álora branch of the campaign marching to the site led by our alcalde José Sánchez Moreno (no relation) in the striped shirt.

Well, at a meeting last week in Cártama it was announced that the money had been found for equipment and furniture and even for all the electric plugs and wires and stuff but they hadn't decided who was going to pay for an access road from the N357 to the hospital. 'Goodness knows how they got all the building materials in there' said Mrs. Sánchez (yes relation).
Apparently the alcalde of Cártama, Jorge Gallardo, said that he didn't see why Cártama should have to pay for the road just because it was on his patch and it wasn't fair to blame him for the hospital not opening and he was going to ask the Málaga provincial government for a sub. I don't know why  people take on these demanding jobs, apart from the 50,000 € salary of course.
Then the representative from the Andalusian junta said the hospital will open 'as soon as possible'. So that's all right then.

You'll have to wait for the next eagerly awaited edition for the answer to the  competition, but there is a comments box if you fancy a try.

May 10th.2014