"The lamps are going out all over Europe. We shall not see them lit again in our life-time"
On a warm summer evening in August 1914, Brirtish Foreign Secretary Sir Edward Grey stood by his office window at the Foreign Office with his old Balliol College pal, John Spender. As they sipped their creme de menthes they watched the sun setting over St. James's Park. After a long silence Edward turned to his friend and remarked;
'Well, Johnny boy, looks like we're well and truly f-----d'.
Britain declared war on Germany the next day.
Three nights ago, as, we watched Theresa May give her ''I am on Your Side" speech from a USA-style lectern and using a Union Flag as backdrop, Mrs. Sanchez turned to me and uttered those exact words.
Once again we are at war with a European power, but this time our government is taking on 27 of them all at once. It's all the foreigners' fault, of course, and it's what 'our country' voted for.
Nearly three years ago, by an overwhelming majority of 52 to 48, a bewildered and largely misinformed public marched into makeshift voting booths and plunged this, and future generations, into a risky and dangerous future without any ideas or plans.
Nobody gave any thought how it would affect LosSanchez either!
So we changed our ferry crossing to 27th. March, allowing us to leave the UK and enter Spain even if there is 'no deal'. (which began as a highly unlikely event but now looks inevitable). It remains to be seen if we can get back in England again in June. Meanwhile we'll be sending food parcels, and medical supplies back to Blighty to help you lot out.
At the moment I feel like Jack Nicholson in 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' -- trapped inside a lunatic asylum (can one say that?) with no escape plan.
It's not all bad news though -- those hardworking and deserving people who run Eurotunnel have just had a £33m. handout from Transport Secretary Chris Grayling. There's lots of money in the Grayling Bank.
Speaking of tunnels, Man not in Alora took a trip to Liverpool a couple of weeks ago and, as part of my itinerary I was determined to revisit the scene of one of my most embarrassing moments of all time --- the day I broke down in the Mersey Tunnel.
My first surprise was that there are three Mersey Tunnels - two road tunnels and a rail tunnel. My Vespa scooter packed up in the Queensway Tunnel which is 2 miles long and was opened by Queen Victoria in 1934-hence the name.
(The other opening is in Birkenhead)
It was 33 years later that my scooter conked out about a mile from Liverpool. It's amazing how much disruption you can cause by blocking one of the lanes in the tunnel. I was rescued by a jeep with a trailer and charged several shillings (in old money) for the inconvenience caused, which I considered a bargain.
The Mersey Tunnels were built so that posh Liverpudlians could get to their houses on the Wirral Peninsula (it used to be part of Cheshire) without having to go by passenger ferry or via Chester. The tunnel comes out in Birkenhead which most people would avoid if they had a choice, and is where the poor people of the Wirral live. In fact, Birkenhead has a long and interesting history and Hamilton Square is well worth seeing. All I can remember of it is pushing my Vespa through the streets looking for a garage. (I'd not been told that you couldn't use ordinary petrol with a two-stroke engine.)
The new tunnel, called The Kingsway Tunnel (you've got to hand it to the person who thought that one up), brings you out at Wallasey which is much easier on the eye than Birkenhead.
Just before you reach the Birkenhead end of the Queensway Tunnel there is a long bendy bit which may strike you as a bit odd when you remember that you are under a river. The story goes that the Mayor of Birkenhead wouldn't let them dig under the Town Hall in case it fell down. It's a fine granite building but Birkehead doesn't merit a town hall these days so it's up for sale and may become a 'boutique hotel', whatever that is.
The Wirral, which rhymes with squirrel, is a bit of land that sticks out into the sea between the River Mersey and the River Dee. It rains a lot there, well it did when I was there.
The Royal Liverpool Golf Club is in Hoylake and is veeeeery posh. I called it 'home' for a couple of years until they discovered my dug-out on the 14th. fairway.
My second surprise was that they've built a motorway on the Wirral. The M53. Why?
Mean Bastards award of the Month Award
Just down the road from our winter and summer residence here in Birmingam, England is a piece of open parkland running alongside the River Cole which contains Sarehole Mill, an old functioning watermill where the writer of The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, J R R Tolkien used to play as a child.
Nobody cared much about this fact until Hobbits hit the headlines and the Big Screen.
Birmingham City Council renamed the area 'The Shire Country Park', shamelessly taking advantage of the new-found popularity of the long dead writer and academic who lived just across the way on Wake Green Rd.
Five years ago I mentioned Tolkien in this venereal organ under the title;
Man not in Alora takes a top deck trip and makes a considerable saving. (February 2014)
The nearby Hungry Hobbit Cafe also jumped on the bandwagon and is still doing well. It serves a good, cheap, full English Breakfast and is a popular meeting point for many aspiring local writers, poets, interesting bohemian brummies and minor local celebrities.
But Spot the Difference...
It appears that the word 'hobbit' is copyrighted by Warner Bros. who have demanded that their word be removed under threat of legal action.
Honestly, what harm were they doing?
British PIe Week
I
The first week of March is British Pie Week. It came and went largely unnoticed.
All the Brexit shinnanigans have overshadowed most of the news round here for the last three years. I managed to have a pie on every day of the week (and sometimes two). The highlight was a grand Cheese and Onion Pie made by Mrs. Sanchez.
And finally...
How's this for good service and customer care.
We finished this 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle last week but there were only 997 pieces. If I hadn't prised one out of Monty's jaws it would have been 996. (Dogs and jigsaw puzzles - bad idea). I mentioned this to Graham and Mary Gosling of Gosling Gifts and Games (and included a photo of the 'uncompleted' puzzle). Within days a parcel arrived from Clonakilty, Ireland with the three missing pieces!!!
Thanks!
Juanito Sanchez March 23rd. 2019
