Friday, 12 February 2016

Pepito the Little Perote Sparrow, Chickens, Cheeses and Characters.


Yippee! We're off to Álora tomorrow. I've given the Ryanair website my best shot. I've printed off the boarding passes and everything is spelt correctly (I double-double checked). I've  avoided paying for a seat on the plane, priority boarding, insurance, extra bags, a hire car, a hotel and refused the invitation to sign an anti-trade union petition( Stop the Strikes. Sign now!). I would have been happy to pay a couple of euros for a little net on the back of the seat in front to hold  my book and sandwiches but that wasn't an option. They will have to rest on my knee along with my bottle of vastly expensive spring water,(at £1.50 a litre it's much dearer than petrol), a sheaf of crossword puzzles, my iPod and Mrs. Sanchez's Hello! magazine. Mind you, where could you buy a bottle of petrol in Birmingham International Airport?
I  don't find a trip on an aeroplane half as much fun as it used to be. Everyone says that the meals you got in the old days were rubbish but I liked them.

                                                      Mmmmmmmmmm.

I don't expect Álora will have changed much apart from having a big Santander Bank plonked in the Fuentearriba. The earthquake which shook the town a bit a couple of weeks ago didn't cause any damage as far as I know. Our back wall would be the first to go if a terremoto struck. We'll find out tomorrow.


I'm happy and relieved to report that Desirée Cortés has reappeared on Ayuntamiento photo shots. Here she is during the 'Carnaval' events yesterday (trust me to miss all the fun). I was going to quip something about her frightening the children but there's something about the sprog on the right (La Reina de Corazones/ The Queen of Hearts) which is more than a little disturbing. (She won the first prize in the children's section).  Desireé ,Councillor in Charge of Fiestas (parties and holidays) is on the left, beaming.







Our distinguished Alcalde Jose Sánchez Moreno (no relation) seems to be managing without his crutches now. I must remember to ask him what that was all about when I see him tomorrow.
 I thought Mardi Gras was supposed to be on a Tuesday, like its originator, Pancake Tuesday. They call it 'Carnaval' in Spain and the French don't even have a word for it. Anyway, we missed it and everybody seems to have had a good time.

The Fuentearriba  (top square) was packed with fun loving fiesta-goers all day.


 To be continued from sunny Spain.......

Álora. Thursday..............
It's raining. Mrs. Sánchez and I are happy about this because it's 'good for the olives'.
We were a little late (1 hour) arriving at Málaga (no fanfare from Ryanair this time). Here's why.
The 'Priority Boarding' queue had just made it past the boarding gate and into the draughty corridor (storm 'Imogen' was in full blow)  when it was discovered that our plane was not certified to carry the enormous weight of passengers and baggage about to board it. Luckily Ryanair found us another plane pretty smartish (they have them parked all over the place, just in case there's a 'Weightwatchers' hen party booked in). It took  a bit of time to swop the planes  over and reload the bags, but in my opinion that's a small price to pay for the confidence that your plane might  get off the ground. 

After a struggle with a violent sociopath/employee at the Niza (a misspelling if ever I saw one) car hire office, off we headed to The 'Valle del Sol'.



The new Santander bank which used to be Cafe Central isn't open yet. The sunny doorway has been occupied by Francisco, a colourful local character who is paid by the ayuntamiento to stroll around town wth a sprig of rosemary in his top pocket, posing for photographs and looking colourful.

                                                   Francisco (looking colourful)

 After checking that Francisco ('Don't call me Paco') was alive and well I headed for the Barbería Hermanos Cid for a  long overdue corte de pelo (haircut)
The brothers Paco and Pepe Cid spotted me 100 metres away and welcomed me back like an old friend. You won't get a better haircut anywhere in Spain. You get the full works here. They even cut the hairs in your ears and nose and trim your eyebrows. 
A haircut here can take anything between 15 minutes and half an hour depending on Pepe or Paco's interest  in the discussions and arguments that go on all the time in their shop doorway. Paco or Pepe (I can never remember who is which) can  be in full slash with the cut-throat  when  called to adjudicate in a heated dispute. All this for 8€ plus tip.


                                                  Barbería  Hermanos Cid 


 We bumped into our much loved alcalde (mayor) Jose Sánchez Moreno (Call me 'Epi') (no relation) in Casa Abilio last night. He came over to say 'Holá'. I told him I was very pleased to see him without the muletas (crutches) and asked if he had sustained the injury whilst playing football. This tickled him no end and he confided in me that he had sprained an ankle whilst chasing his wife or running away from her or away from a woman or chasing a woman (mujer means wife AND woman). I really must get down to some serious Spanish revision.

 

        Jose Sánchez Moreno (Epi) and others  presenting the Chicken Show poster.

 We may have missed Carnaval but we are just in time for the 1X Exposición de Gallinas Andaluzas Sureñas ( Ninth Exhibition of South Andalusian Chickens). Here is Epi presenting the poster for this ever popular show. There wll be  400 examples  of these fine birds on show and there are prizes for the best plumage etc. I wish every bird the best of cluck.

Incredible but true!  At the same time and in the same building we also have the annual Mercado del Queso Tradicional Andalus (Local Cheese Fair). What a double treat! Chickens and Cheeses.
(I'm thinking 'Chicken Kiev').
 
                                                          A double delight.

Rain was forecast yesterday so off we went with Graham and Mary to visit one of Málaga's many museums. We were headed for the Museo Interactivo de la Música which seemed as good a place as any to spend a wet afternoon. 
As it turned out the sun was shining as we emerged from Central Station so  we went for a coffee and replanned the day. Shopping for Mary and Mrs. S. and a few beers at La Cueva for Graham and me. 
La Cueva is not the most atmospheric of Málaga bars but they do give you a free selection of pork products to nibble at (served on a sheet of greaseproof paper) whilst knocking back a few Alhambra beers and fighting off beggars and lottery ticket sellers. 'The ladies' appeared after an hour or so which meant more beer and more chacina. That was when the sound of a flamenco guitar approached. 'Here come the buskers!' we groaned. A familiar diminutive figure then came into view. It was Pepito el Gorrión and his guitar accompanist.


                                                           Pepito El Gorrión



Pepito is from Álora and sings flamenco and he's not bad at it either and he dances too. He used to be a familiar sight in the 'old quarter' of Málaga but I hadn't seen him for a few years. I presumed he had gone to the great peña flamenca in the sky but no! I was so pleased to see him I gave him all my loose change. In return he pretended he knew me, which impressed Graham and Mary no end, and sang me a song about meeting an old friend. What fun!

The rest of the day was a blur. What a great place Málaga is. 

Juanito Sánchez
February 12th. 2016 



 

Sunday, 17 January 2016

The Lady Vanishes and Bankers invade Álora.



For Sally. We will all miss you.

                                    Hotel Real, Santander. View from our bedroom window

¡Feliz Año Nuevo a todos!

I can't believe it's over a month since I left you all (all?) in suspense about Tommy's weight problem at the super-posh Hotel Real in Santander. 'How the tempus fugits!,' as they say down at The Home Guard Club.
The good news is that we got away with it. Indeed I can recommend this fabulous  hotel to all dog lovers who can spare 20€ a night for 5 star luxury canine comfort. I doubt if we would have been hit with the 100€ surcharge even if I hadn't been smuggling Tommy in and out of the lift while Mrs. Sánchez created a diversion at reception. She always managed to keep them enthralled with her signature Hylda Baker impersonations ("She knows, you know") and tap dancing routines.


                                    Ooo! She knows, you know. (She's good isn't she?)

This news will be particularly welcomed by our friends Ronnie and and Myra who are dog lovers, masters of canine concealment and formerly the scourge  of Brittany Ferries' 'accommodation for canines' policy. Nothing could induce these Harry Houdinis of Hound Hiding to be separated from their little pals, even for a minute. Time was when the pair could be found (and they often were found) huddled with Timmy, Mollie and Spot on the floor of their car on the good ship Pont Aven MV car deck facing unthinkable discomfort and danger rather than condemn their best pals to a stretch in the luxurious dog prison on deck 10.

                                                       Cell block 'A' Deck 10

Ronnie and Myra's nefarious practices were eventually  bought to an end, not by the 'wanted' posters pinned up  in the Piano Bar and along the corridors of 'Commodore' and 'Club Class' cabin decks, but by Brittany Ferries providing .'pet friendly cabins'. A touch expensive but a welcome development. (Ask Tommy!)

                                                          Sea dog heaven
Olive News..............


Sánchez Olive Oil Enterprises Inc. is off to a flying start. Our 2 tonnes of olives gave us  266 litres of olive oil of which to dispose . No.1 Son and 'olive grower,' Pequeño Juan loaded most of it into his car and, in an operation not unlike 'The Beaujolais Run', he rushed it northwards just  in time for its debut at Birmingham's Christmas Artisan Food Market at The MAC. Arts Centre in Cannon Hill Park.


Although 'Olivar Caicunes Raw Unfiltered Olive Oil'  proved very popular with the discerning gourmets of Birmingham (32 bottles sold ,all for cash money) we still have enough to stock another stall there on January 31st. 


                             Mrs. Sánchez with two 'discerning Brummie gourmets'


When we totted up our expenses for the year, including water rates, pruning, feeding etc. public liability insurance, hire of the stall, pressing, bottling, fuel and labels it came to £1002.00. When we included (unpaid) labour costs at  £8.00 an hour it came to £3318.00!   ( or £12.50 per litre). It beats me how anyone makes a living out of olive growing.
Andalusian olive growers can claim an EU subsidy according to the area of land being used for olive production (currently €571 (£433.96) per hectare. That means we could be  in for a bung of €371.15 !!
If only I can find out how to apply.  




Spanish farmers are happy to admit that half of their income comes from EU subsidies. During the last thirty years there has been a massive expansion of olive production, most of it for oil. An increase in demand around the world for olive oil has attracted investment from banks and insurance companies which are employing 'intensive farming' methods.('Ssssss! and Booooooo!)  
Olive trees can survive happily in drought conditions but, by planting the trees more thickly and by 'drip watering', production can increase twenty fold but uses a lot of water. Most people know that Andalucía suffers from water shortages but some people are now talking about desertification,  even if they can't pronounce it. The Coto Doñana nature reserve near Seville, already damaged by pollution from the collapse of the Aznalcollar mining dam in 1998, has seen its marshlands dry up. The main culprits are strawberries and olives.


The Coto Doñana is a beautiful nature reserve where there are Iberian Lynxes and Imperial Iberian Eagles, fallow deer and more than 300 species of European and African birds.It's really worth a visit but you'll have to book a tour. Individual visits aren't allowed

News from Álora


Man in Álora is not in Álora at present so to keep up with what's going on I take an occasional 'dekko' at the web page of the  Ayuntamiento
Regular readers of this organ will know about the long delay in opening the now ageing new Hospital of the Guadalhorce ( El Chare). Well, the good news is that work has at last started on the access road. This  should help to clear the queues of cars and ambulances which have caused long hold-ups on the A-357 as prospective patients search in vain for the slip road to this very impressive medical facility. The threat of paying back 7 million euros seems to have done the trick. 
Our popular alcalde (mayor), Epi, turned up for the 'breaking of the earth' ceremony and posed for the usual photos.
But wait! What's happened to Epi? (Jose Sánchez, no relation). (fourth from the left).


He looks in a bad way, and rather more casually dressed than usual. Please let Mrs.S and me know what's happened if you know. 
Even more worrying is the absence of Desirée Flores Cortés Rodriguez , deputy mayor and councillor for Sport, Holidays, Fairs and Tax who never misses a chance to face the cameras.

                                                              Desirée Cortés
She's one of my favourites and seems to have disappeared completely from Ayuntamiento photo opportunities. I hope her disappearance and Epi's dodgy leg are not connected in any way. Or, indeed, his unkempt appearance.

I expect by now there is not a trace left  of the iconic Cafe Central which was the jewel in the crown  of La Fuentearriba (top square) for many many years. It was known as 'Salvador' by locals over a certain age and was renowned for its Thursday paella, and the deafening din that would greet you in there every morning except Sunday.


There it is on the left of the busy Plaza de la Fuente Arriba.
 Along with most of the bars in Álora, Cafe Central suffered from the 'crisis'. Although it never opened at night it was a great mañana (morning) meeting place for mothers with loud voices and small screaming children to meet over a cafelito or chocolate con churros and practise shouting.
Lately the two camareros, Juan and Pedro had very little to do after the morning rush and  could be seen  gazing wistfully out across the square listening to the ringing in their ears. They had stopped doing tapas there long ago and I always felt a little guilty passing the door on my way to Cafe Bar El Madrugón for my daily Cafe con insultos. They are both out of work now and should be due some compensation for hearing loss.

The owner has rented the premises to the giant Santander Bank for 20.000€ a month. He is a very happy man, as he told me at the El Capirote Chiringito (bar) at last year's Romería. 'I'm a millionaire', he called out as he swayed back and forth under the weight of several manzanillas. I'm sure Banco Santader think they have got a bargain.

                                    
                                        Cafe Central the day before we left Álora
 Juanito Sanchez
January 17th. 2016

Sunday, 13 December 2015

What's it all about, Alfie? Pigeon fanciers and posh hotels.




Hotel Real Santander. Tuesday December 8th 2016.


Mrs. Sánchez and I were sitting in the Theros Bar last night enumerating the human qualities of Donald Trump. After a long silence the conversation turned to the shortcomings of Democracy in the modern world and the apparent inability of turkeys and most human beings to make rational judgements regarding their own best interests. The hour was late and we were rounding off a tiring day with a couple of 'nightcaps' (a glass of red for me and a large Bailey's with ice for the good lady.) I rattled on as usual about ideologies, politics and the lack of leaders with integrity and I must have said,  'that's why so many people turn to religions'. At this point Mrs.S.,who I thought had nodded off ten minutes ago at least, seemed to perk up a bit and pitched in with gusto. I'd already lost interest and wanted to go to bed. And then the light of my life fixed me firmly with her good eye  and said (I swear)...  'But what I don't understand is why anyone would turn to pigeons'. How we laughed!

We are in Santander to catch the good ship Pont Aven back to Plymouth.Our latest stay in Álora has left us exhausted so we were looking forward to a couple of days here to relax, do a bit of shopping, have a couple of nice meals and give the town the onceover. It turns out that Santander is El Rey Alfonso XIII's (Alphonso the Thirteenth's) Town. (There are 11 types of people in the world. Those who understand Roman numerals, and those who don't.)

Alfonso was the King of Spain from 1886 to 1931 and he was a big hit in Santander because he had loads of money and spent all his summer holidays here (holidays from what? you may be thinking); holidays from losing what was left of the Spanish colonies, interfering with the army, buying gold typewriters and ,most of all, impregnating women. To be fair, he probably did a lot of the last one while he was on holiday in Santander.(who doesn't?)  He had 7 official children and 6 'known' illegitimate ones. Bit of a lad, then.


                                                   Alfonso XIII (a bit of a lad).


Anyway, the point is that we are staying in the Hotel Real (Royal Hotel) which Alfonso  built in 1916 to accommodate all his pals and, one imagines, lady friends, while he was veraneando (summering) here away from the fierce temperatures and irate husbands of Madrid. This hotel is dead posh (***** honest!)  but it caught my eye on Booking.com because they allow dogs here,which is unusual for posh hotels. What a treat for Tommy!

All seemed to be going well. Lovely room, nice bathroom, bathrobes(!!!) and slippers, great view etc, until they gave me a note at reception telling us to ask the chef about food for the dog if we haven't got any, asking us to keep Tommy on a lead and that dogs are charged 22€ a night. Then came the shocker. If the dog weighs more than 10kg. we will be charged 100€. Tommy currently weighs in at 26kg. (yes, he could do with losing a few pounds, I know). This could be an expensive couple of days.




 Princess Victoria Eugenie Ena, Queen Consort of Spain, painted by Joachín Sorolla

Alfonso XIII married Princess Victoria Eugenie Ena of Battenburg (grandaughter of Queen Victoria) in 1906. It was a union of two European royal families, one named after a cake and the other after a biscuit (Alfonso was a Bourbon) which made the resultant progeny half cake, half biscuit, a bit like a jaffa cake.
The northern Spanish are not known for their use of irony but there must have been a smile on someone's face when the city built a palace for King Alfonso to thank him for all the business he brought in and named it The Magdalena.

Some Magdalenas..biscuit or cake. (Currently 18 for £1.00 at Poundland).
 

 The Magdalena Palace.

All the crowned heads of Europe and their retinues flocked to Santander to gamble away fortunes in the new casino and bet on horses at the new hipódromo (racecourse). What fun they must have all had at the grand opening of El Hotel Real (The Royal Hotel) in 1917. How easy it must have been to forget about their  young subjects dying in their hundreds of thousands in the trenches of France and Belgium. 


Alfonso kept Spain out of The Great War because he had family on both sides. It didn't stop Britain, Germany and Russia. Alf kept himself busy buying gold typewriters, impregnating young women and building luxury hotels like El Gran Hotel Sardinero, just across the road from The Casino in Plaza Italia. Mrs. Sánchez and I had a drink in there last night and I swear the head barman is none other than Generalisimo Francisco Franco, former dictator of Spain.

                                         "Dos cervezas, Señor? Ahora mismo."
 Uncanny. 

Plaza Italia was named thus as a homage to the Italian army that fought on Franco's side during the La Guerra Civil (The Civil War). 

King Alfonso ended up in exile in Rome. His wife, Ena (as her pals Prince Edward and Mrs. Simpson referred to her) got fed up with pregnant women ringing her doorbell and cleared off back to England where she had a grand old time until she was 'asked to leave' by the government. She is the great-grandmother of the present king of Spain, Filipe IV.

Mrs. Sánchez and I felt we deserved a bit of TLC after working flat out on the family olive estate, Olivar Caicunes. We picked over 2 tons of olives in 17 days with the help of slave labour from Liverpool. (Hows that for irony?). Two nights in El Hotel Real is just the ticket. Tommy is on a crash diet but still wan't pass for 10kg.

I'll let you know how Tommy gets on with his diet.



Juanito Sánchez 8th. December 2015.


 




Tuesday, 10 November 2015

. A Hundred ways with Olive Oyl. Pressing business for Sánchez.


A Hundred Ways with Olive Oyl.




                                           A Short Toed or 'Snake' Eagle

It's olive picking time. The Sánchez Olive Oil Empire's hardy and willing workforce is about to swing into action again. We're off to  Casarabonela, in the heart of La Sierra de las Nieves in the Biosphere Nature Park and just a stone's throw from Álora. (24km/15 miles). That's where the family estate is and its 100 olive trees. 



                                Finca Vanamba/ Finca Caicunes/ Olivar Caicunes
 
We've been rained off for a few days so far but we hope to start again tomorrow. (we did). Mrs.Sanchez uses the occasion to show off some of her favourite designer workwear and we all look forward to her latest ensembles. Local farmers and goatherds alike stand and gaze as she strives in style beneath the leafy boughs.  Passing motorists travelling between Casarabonela (just try saying it!) and Ronda sound their horns and have been known to miss completely the dangerous bend, just out of the picture on the left, with tragic results.

                                   Mrs Sánchez wearing this season's olive outfit

It's a sight for sore eyes if ever there was one and I can testify to that because I was struck in the eye by a springy olive twig on Sunday and it hurts. I have bought some safety spectacles from our local ferretería in Álora. They are selling like hot pies there at the moment..

A lot of people think that olives are either green or black but we've got green ones, black ones, yellow ones and purple ones and some that are yellow AND purple. They all go black eventually, when they are ripe. All our olives will go to make oil and the best time to pick them is when they are ripe (black).

Q: What do you call a woman who collects olives?
A: Annette.

That's an olive growers' joke. I bet you were going to say 'Mrs. Sánchez'!  We olive growers split our sides every time we hear that one, I can tell you.
  
Anyway, that's how you pick olives. You spread a net or two under the tree and try to make the olives fall on to the net. Most olive pickers round here hit the branches  with a long stick  and hope the olives will all fall onto the net. It's called 'vareando'.


Apart from the obvious health and safety issues that arise when two or more beefy bough bashers  thrash about in the air with big sticks, ( I can just hear my mum saying 'Stop that right now.You'll have someone's eye out!'), we think that it's cruel to the trees and anyway  our olives don't respond to rough treament and would refuse to fall into the nets. The nets are called either mantos or toldos depending on who you speak to in Cafe-Bar El Madrugón but never redes which is the Spanish word for nets.

Álora's most popular olive is called a Manzanilla or aceituna Áloreña.. It has DOP (denominación de origin protegida) status like Melton Mowbray pork pies. Manzanilla means 'little apple' and that's what it looks like. It's one of the best olives in the world for eating. 

The oil is good, too, but a little bland.






Manzanilla Olives

 Our olives are 'Picual' and are grown just for the high quality oil they produce.

 
   We've picked 750 kilos so far which should give us at least 75 litres of Extra Virgin Oil. And we're not halfway through the crop  yet.




Picual Olives

We'll take the olives to the mill just over the hill from our olivar  (olive grove) to be 'pressed'. Before any olives are pressed they have to be ground (molido) or 'milled'. Olive oil is the only edible vegetable oil that is produced from the flesh of the fruit, but the stone is also crushed along with the flesh for it's oil content. It is the pulp made from the skin, flesh and stone of the olive that is 'pressed'. Traditionally this was done between circular straw mats.

                                                            An Olive Press.
 
To be 'Extra Virgin Olive Oil' the oil must have an oleic acid level of no more than 0.8%. Anything above this will be plain old 'Virgin', lowly 'Olive Oil' or one of the nastier 'refined' olive oils which has goodness knows what unspeakable things done to it.

Spain is the biggest producer of olive oil in the world. Much of its oil goes to Italy where it is relabled and sold as Extra Virgin Italian Oil and exported to the USA where the Mafia control the whole bang shoot. (Just watch The Godfather 2 if you don't believe me).



This year Sanchez Oil Empire SA. expects a bumper crop so we have been obliged to employ some cheap foreign labour. The wage levels are poor so it's difficult to attract good quality workers. An ability to multi-task is essential in this job. Here you can see one of our casual staff doubling as a telegraph pole.



 I'll let you know when our oil is ready for sale. I suggest that you get your orders in quickly while stocks last. 
On the way to Finca Vanamba/Finca Caicunes/ Olivar Caicunes the other day we spotted a Short-toed Eagle flying with a snake dangling from it's beak, a bit like the one in the photo above.

Speaking of pies, you may remember I have been looking for a decent Spanish pie. Most unexpectedly I saw this sign outside a bar in Córdoba a couple of weeks ago.



Third on the list; 'Empanadillas de Cochinillo' (little suckling pig pies'). Unfortunately I wasn't able to sample one of the little chaps but it looks like Spain is getting on the right track at last.

I had a 'pork and chorizo pie' in a pub in Liverpool a few months ago which sounded like a simple but brave attempt (for Liverpool) at  feasible fusion food. It was the worst pie I have ever encountered. It must have been in the pie display cabinet since the Beatles used to drink and eat pies in there with rocking horse people. I told the barman it was as dry as a dead dingo's donger and he  helpfully suggested that I should try tomato sauce on it or f*ck off. How we laughed! I should have had the 'Scouse pie' instead.
Incidentally, if you are in Liverpool and partial to a bit of top class authentic Spanish nosh (with a dash of scouse) get down to 'Lunya' in College Lane. They even have Tomatoes in Olive  Oil from Álora.


November 10th. 2015