Wednesday, 17 November 2021

When is a fountain not a fountain? Why is Spain ahead of its time? What did the Romans ever do for Álora? Where did all the pies come from?

 

 


The nights are drawing in. The clocks went back two weeks ago and here in sunny Álora we're still an hour ahead of The UK, Britain, Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and The British Isles. They never seem to catch up...even after BREXIT... (Don't talk to ME about BREXIT!!). 

My hermana y cuñado (sister and brother-in-law) arrived here the day they went back (that doesn't sound right, even though her visits are usually 'visitas relampagos' (lightning visits)) but, as it turned out, she had put her watch back two hours and they arrived a week before they left.

                             The Greenwich Meridian

According to The Greenwich Meridian, Spain should be on the same time as Great Britain and Northern Ireland and not an hour ahead. Not many people know this, but General Franco, who ruled Spain from 1938 to 1975, was such a chum of Adolf Hitler and an admirer of all things German, that he ordered all the Spanish clocks to be on the same time as Berlin, which is in Germany, an hour ahead of GMT, and nobody can be bothered to change the Spanish clocks back, except once a year.  

            'Look, Mama, it´s me, with my best mate, Adie'.
              'Stop calling me so late at night, dummkopf!'

Mrs. Sánchez never changes the time on her watch unless the battery runs out, which it did a few weeks ago. They were able to change the battery at a local jeweller's for a couple of euros, which was a surprise to me. They change batteries but don't change watch straps...you have to go to the barber's for that.

For a small town (13.500 habitantes) there´s been a lot going on here since we arrived and everyone is trying to get back to behaving normally. The 'Día de las Sopas Perotas' kick-started a whirl of social events. Two years, starved of the processions of Semana Santa, has left the  Áloreños hungry for a whiff of incense, the sound of drums, a marching band and candles.

Here´s the first one that has been just up our street since April 2019.

It's good old 'Santo Cristo Crucificado de los Estudiantes' who usually gets an airing on Good Friday.

Más vale tarde que nunca' (Better late than never). They´ve had one a week since then.

 

 'It's Easter, Jaime, but not as we know it'.

Málaga went the whole hog last week and had a near-total re-run of the Semana Santa processions... 16 of them in one night. They put on a free coach from Álora. It was full.

 

I hope they know what they´re doing...not much social distancing going on there.😮

During October, Spain had been recording low numbers of cases of Covid 19 (as low as 40 cases per 100,000), but the numbers are creeping up again, and are up to 80 per 100,000 again.

Mrs. Sánchez and I, being of a certain age, were offered a booster jab in Birmingham a few weeks ago, so we decided to dash back there for one (each), just in case it becomes part of the ´Covid Passport' requirements.  (OPERATION BOOSTER).(*see stop press, below).  Also, cases have been rising over there rapidly and we want to be ´fully vaccinated' when we return at the end of November. We got a 'flu jab here in Álora at the local health centre first. Then we booked flights and set about arranging a lateral flow test for when we arrived, printed off our vaccination certificates and battled  with the UK 'Locator Form'.


Luckily for us there are now lots of Facebook groups that are helping fellow Brits to avoid falling foul of all the post- Brexit and Covid travel regulations.They have names like ´Non-resident Spanish home-owners', '180 days in Spain', 'Brexpats in Spain' etc.

Nobody wants to get turned back at the airport for not filling out a form properly, do they? You would not believe the anxiety that is expressed on these sites! Air travel was unpleasant enough before Covid and Brexit but it´s a whole new world of pain and suffering now. I´m amazed that anybody wants to travel at all.

´Can I take my corned beef sandwiches on the plane?'

'What if they don't stamp my passport?'

'Will my cat need a Covid jab?'

'What if my husband dies on the plane?'

and so on....

It's a good job there's Deborah Darling of Non resident Spanish Homeowners.

Deborah knows EVERYTHING., and it's her REAL name too!

                                        WARNING.
The next section of this exciting edition of 'Man in Álora' is not recommended for people with weak bladders or submechanophobia . It's all about fountains.

On the same day as Sopas Perotas, Álora's new fountain was unveiled. The work has been going on for about twenty-two years, and so a large expectant crowd gathered outside the barber´s shop of Paco y Pepe (Pepe has retired), where the new fountain has been built. At a given signal,our alcalde (mayor) Francisco Martinez Subires, accompanied by his 14 trusted concejales  (councillors), gave a little speech and turned on the water. What joy! 


 

 

Three days later, a team of técnicos (specialists) moved in to prune the two palm trees, which involved heavy machinery to move the stone blocks.


Within a week, when I passed  the new Fuente d'Arriba ('The Fountain Above), water was pouring over the road and now it´s not working at all. I spoke to the técnico who was in the big 'reservoir'. 'Not enough sealant', he declared. 

                            Where's all the water gone?

Here´s a picture taken a long time ago. It shows the old 'fuente' in the centre of Álora at the bottom of Calle Santa Ana where in the olden days, before 'corporation pop', people, usually nearly always women, would go to fill up their cánteros (big ceramic water containers) or garrafas (big glass bottles in a cane basket). It looks like jolly hard work. It´s no wonder the blokes got out of doing it! 

It's in the same place as the new one.

The old  'Fuente Arriba'


Garraffas

 

Cánteros. (with wide necks to catch the water)
 

The water in the old fuente came from a natural spring and it flowed from the spouts 24 hours a day without a grifo (tap) and the water was free, too. There were numerous spring water fuentes around Álora before 'mains' water was available. The ones you see around town now have taps and supply 'purified' town water, still free, though.

As far as I know, the only remaining one spouting spring water is La Fuente de Pedro Sánchez (no relation) which is tucked away at the foot of Monte Hacho opposite the Los Conejitos restaurant.


 

La Fuente de la Higuera, outside the La Higuera Restaurant on the Ardales road was declared no potable (undrinkable) a few years ago. It used to be very popular indeed.

  

La Fuente Romano up on the Canca, opposite the ruins of the Roman Villa, dried up mysteriously a few years ago. We used to use it a lot. The water suddenly dried up after at least 2000 years of use. This happened at about the same time a massive fruit plantation appeared close by. Well, well.

    La Fuente Romana before the water 'disappeared'.


These two fuentes were very popular with country people. I used to have to drive up the La Fuente de La Higuera at the crack of dawn to avoid the crowds. The Roman Fountain was less popular. The drain got blocked up and  water filled up the enclosure. The threat to life and the unsightly layer of discarded plastic bottles floating on the surface put a lot people off. Also, giant frogs lived there.

Many non-Spaniards tend to think of a fountain as an ornamental structure, like the much maligned ones now in the Plaza de la Fuente Arriba (Top Square), but a fuente, or fountain was the name for all these 'springs'. A 'fontenero' is a plumber.

Many ex-pats, and many Perotes, too, will tell you how much they miss the ´Fountain with the Lions' which was the one before the present duo.


                           La Fuente de los Leones

Manolo of El Cafe-Bar Madrugón in the 'Top Square' will tell you he can remember at least five fountains in the plaza, which is not bad going when you consider that until the 1950's there was no plaza there at all! 

Until 1936 the whole of the bottom part of the Plaza, up as far as Cafe-Bar Madrugón was occupied by a convent, which got burned to the ground by Republicans at the beginning of Spain's Guerra Civil (Civil War) 1936-38.

The present plaza - it's a triangle, not a square, was originally raised several feet above ground level. It had steps up to it and there was no fountain, ornamental or otherwise.

THEN


 


 






NOW
 

Bar News

We were very sad to learn that Cafetería Azahar, opposite Calle Carmona and hosted by Candelaria, had closed its doors. We have have spent many many happy hours there over the years -  at first when Candelaria's husband Antonio Santiago was alive and it served the best tapas in Álora, and later on when Candelaria bravely continued to run it, but only opening in the mornings.

The good news is that four new bars have opened since we were here a year ago.

Hemispherium has opened in Calle Carmona, where two previous bars were, and where the estate agents Calderón used to fleece gullible followers of 'A Place in the Sun ' in the 'wild west days' of the early 2000s, when I once counted 15 estate agents in Álora. There are two, now.

Hemispherium continues the trend set by Casa Abilio and El Taller, serving modern versions of traditional Andaluz grub. It's a bit pricey, though.


La Taverna de Álora
,
which has replaced a long succession of bars in a prime spot on Calle Cervantes appears to be cashing in on the success of El Caminito del Rey and ´'Good luck' to them.

The food is very good and the staff are friendly, cheerful and efficient. I´ve tried twice, without success, to get through their massive bowl of 'patatas bravas'.



La Peña Flamenca
(The Flamenco Club) has moved from its hideaway in Callejón Pepe Rosas , or under Bar Bernabe, to the old Correos (Post Office) Bar which has had more changes of ownership than any bar in Álora that I know of and has never been any good since Lars shut up shop over ten years ago. Poker-faced Lars first opened it as a bar-restaurant serving Spanish-Swedish fusion food nearly twenty years ago.


Correos - when it was the Post Office.



La Posada has opened again. This time it's being run by the lovely Rosa, who's mum lives opposite us. It's down the hill to the left of Bar Alegría, on Calle Rosales (which isn't called that now but I'm not going up Algarrobo just to find the 'new' name) In the Good Old Days before the 2008 Crash, Rosa had three bars around the town. Who can remember the Moroccan one, on Calle Cervantes run by Rosa's even lovelier daughter, Fatima?

Good luck Rosa!

Pie News 

There's not usually much Pies News when we're in Álora. 

Regular readers of this venereal organ may remember that I tried to introduce British pies to Álora with no success. They never seemed to have caught on in Spain. Mrs. Sánchez will tell you that a proper pie is made with hot-water pastry and is 'raised'. In Lancashire they are called 'stand pies.' The Spanish 'empanadas' or empadadillas(small empanadas) are shaped like a pasty and so not, technically, a pie at all.

A Proper Pie (Greenhalgh's from Bolton)
 
 

Imagine my surprise on returning to Álora after a long absence to see this!!!

Slap bang in centre of town a shop has opened which sells all kinds of British food. It appears that ex-pats here in Andalucía, the region of Spain which has always been known as the most ´Spanish' of all, can not do without such typical British favourites as Brown Sauce, Yorkshire Tea, Werther's Originals, Patak's cook-in Sauces and pies.


Tom, originally from Cumbria, which used to be part of Lancashire, or vice-versa, stocks a dazzling nostalgic array of colourful and appetizing tins and jars.

'What sort have pies have you got, then? I enquired with more than a little disbelief in my tone.

'All kinds'. replied Tom as he opened the lid of a vast chest freezer waist-deep on frozen savoury pastries.


And he has got 'all kinds' too. All of them are 'Jumbo' but I checked the long list of ingredients and none of them contained any elephant meat. The 'Jumbo Steak and Kidney' and the 'Jumbo Mince and Onion' particularly caught my eye.

I resisted the temptation to stock up with a few. -  our freezer in Birmingham has a compartment dedicated to that queen of pie brands, 'Hollands' of Baxenden. But the truth is I don't want to eat Meat Pies in Spain, any more than I want to eat paella or gambas pil pil in Birmingham....'When in Rome...'

'I bet you haven't got any Hollands', 

'I bet I have! ' exclaimed a grinning Tom, jubilantly.

and, after boldly plunging most of his bare arm into the icy depths of the 'pie chest', he produced a packet of Holland's Cheese and Onion Pies like a rabbit out of a hat.

 

I think I can detect a gradual invasion of a pie-eating culture here in Andalucía, albeit still at the 'pasty' stage, in which Cornwall has been stuck for centuries.

This shop opened in Málaga just a few months ago.


 


'They're pies, Jim, but not as we know them'.

And finally....a big welcome to Mr.and Mrs. C*nt who have moved into Calle Zapata, just above the steps up from Calle Atrás.


 
Hasta luego.

Juanito Sánchez 17th. November 2021.


* STOP PRESS........

Brexit 'The UK is NOT corrupt' Boris Johnson has just said that the third jab will be essential for foreign travel, soon.

I shouldn't worry, he'll probably have changed his mind again by the time you read this.

 




 

Wednesday, 13 October 2021

Spain is Different, but it's not changed at all since we left.

Spain is Different, but it's not changed at all since we left.

 



¡Holá amigos!
It´s great to be back in Álora again after ten months away. 

 

We've been here in the Valle del Sol for 5 weeks and we've still not solved the mystery of our uninvited lodger. (see previous edition of this interesting publication). Even Antonio down at the 'Lo Más Natural' shop can't help. I must remember to change the lock on the door.

We managed to catch the the 'Pont Aven' ferry from Plymouth despite Monty's £250 and 13 pages worth of 'Animal Health Certificate' being faulty. Our vaccination certificates and Spanish Locator forms got us onto the boat and, after a calm and comfortable voyage, we disembarked at Santander, breezed through the three checkpoints and were on the road to Aranjuez,( pronounced aran- who- ez), in record time.

Most of Andalucía, including Málaga and Álora, but not Marbella, where Boris Johnson is on holiday, is now in ´zero alert status´.and there have been no cases in the town for some time, despite the children returning to school. Even so, masks are still being worn by most people in shops and offices, and there is a very positive feeling in the air.


 

It´s October 12th. today, El día de la Virgen del Pilar (The Day of the Virgin of the Pillar),  so all the shops are shut. 

It's also El Día de la Hispanidad (The Day of Hispanicity), which is a real word, The National Day of Spain, El Día de la Virgen de Guadalupe (The Day of the Virgin of Guadalupe) and The Day of the Spanish Armed Forces. 

El Día de la Hispanidad is celebrated throughout Spanish Speaking Countries, mostly in South America. It's a chance for all hispanic people to celebrate 'the Spanish legacy to the world'. It's on October 12th. because this is the date that Cristobal Colón (Christopher Columbus) 'discovered the Americas'. The USA had their Columbus Day yesterday.

Cristobal Colón lands in the Bahamas on October 12th. 1492

BUT all is not well over there in Central and South America.

In June protesters in Columbia pulled down a statue of Columbus and the one in Mexico City is about to take a dive too. 


Columbus is now widely regarded as a symbol of oppression and colonialism, as his arrival in America opened the door to Spanish conquest.

It was not the original intention of the Spanish to harm the Hispanic-American natives. The Spanish Crown, Councils and Church considered the natives free and intelligent vassals entitled to be embraced by Christianity and by the Hispanic civil culture. However, at the same time it was the monarchy’s decision to exploit the natives as taxpayers and as a reservoir of forced labor that made its rule in America exceptionally destructive. The recruitment of the natives to serve the interests of the Spanish Empire under what can only be considered near to slave conditions, compounded by systematic annihilation of their cultures and by cyclical epidemics, led to the near total eradication of the Indians.

The Destruction of the Indigenous Peoples of Hispano America

A Genocidal Encounter

Eitan Ginzberg. 

Yesterday the Governor of Mexico City announced that their Columbus Monument was going to be replaced by a replica of a pre-Columbian statue called, The Young Woman of Amanjac.


 Looks a bit scary to me.

I think we can look forward to a lot more statue toppling.

                            The Spanish Coat of Arms

Spain has so many fiestas and Saint's Days that there aren´t enough days to go round, and so a few have to share, except for February 29th. that nobody seems to want.

Today is one of the top three Spanish holidays, so Mercadona, Spain´s biggest supermarket chain has shut all its shops, too. 

There´s always a big parade in Madrid with a fly-past by the Patrulla Águila (The Eagle Patrol), which is Spain´s equivalent of Britain´s 'Red Arrows'. Also, everyone takes a few days off work, making a puente (long weekend) of it. It's called 'La Puente de Pilar'.

There are NO PARKING signs on our street this morning because of a procession going down to the church. We were  the only ones to obey the order.

                                  La Virgen del Pilar
 

The Virgin of the Pillar is the 'Patron Virgin' of the Guardia Civil, and they all have a day off, so today you can drive as fast as you like on the roads because they are all at big parties in their Cuarteles (Barracks) with music, food, and lots to drink, kindly donated by all the bars in the town, which  get a festive visit from a couple of burly ´civiles´ a few weeks before, just to make sure they don´t forget.

 


 

If you're wondering who the Virgin of the Pillar is, why she has a pillar, and why she's only heard of in Spain, here´s the answer. It's because in 40AD., James, the apostle, was on a preaching tour of Spain and not going down too well in Zaragoza which, at the time, was the Spanish equivalent of the Glasgow Empire - a tough crowd. He was trying out some new material on the bank of the River Ebro and Mary appeared to him standing on top of a stone pillar surrounded by hundreds of angels and gave him a few tips on how to spice up his act.

James, who was also known a Sant Iago de Compostela, went on to be very famous after a town was named after him. To this very day thousands of people go on pilgrimages to the town on donkeys, on foot, on bicycles - you name it.


Unfortunately our favourite Álora fiesta, La Romería de la Virgen de Flores was cancelled again this year but, for the first time since Covid 19 hit Spain, Álora´s Día de las Sopas Perotas went ahead - the first public event for two years.



 
                    Sopas Perotas (It´s NOT soup). Yum yum.

The next big event was exhibition of artwork by The Independent Artists of Álora.

                    The Independent Artists of Álora
 

Mrs. Sánchez and I went to the opening - as usual forgetting that, although it opens at 8.00pm., it's 9.00pm before the speeches have finished and you can tuck into the free food and booze.


 Mrs. S. is wearing the striped dress.


All these events remind us that Navidad (Christmas) is just around the corner and everyone will be looking forward to seeing Álora's 'live Nativity' when real people from the town dress up as the traditional Nativity characters. They are already holding the auditions. Here's a group of hopefuls for 'The Three Wise Men' parts.


The wise guy on the left appears after a short but eventful season playing 'Goldilocks' in our house.

It's good to see our Alcalde (mayor) Francisco Martinez is putttng himself about a bit now that life is getting back to normal. He's been very busy this week, what with the Sopas Perotas day, the Pilar celebrations and the art exhibition, not to mention the new fountain outside my favourite barber's and a new plaque paying homage to our signature dish. The odd thing is that wherever he goes he is surrounded by a crowd of 14 fans who manage to get on all the photos.

Here are a few of his recent appearances. See if you can spot him.






 

 That´s all for now.I've got to get on with making Mrs. Sánchez a new compost bin.




Juanito Sánchez

October 13th. 20121.

Saturday, 28 August 2021

Álora Here We Come...But Whó´s Been Sleeping In My Bed. Not Ricitos de Oro, That´s For Sure.

Álora Here We Come!...But Who's Been Sleeping in My Bed? It's Not Ricitos de Oro, That's for Sure.

 



Well, here we are, in Birmingham, waiting for the lights to change.

 


We're due to ship out to Santander next Wednesday. . I've printed off our vaccination certificates from the very friendly NHS App., Monty has an appointment for 11.05am at the vet's for his Animal Health Certificate and we've got a booking at a pet-friendly (10 euros) hotel in Aranjuez for Thursday night. What could go possibly go wrong? - a question which I return to every morning between 5.00am and 6.00am as I like awake in bed fretting and trying to plan for  every possible eventuality.

I was led to believe that we need an 'International Driving Permit' to travel in Europe. The UK government website says we don't need one for Spain. I also read in a usually unreliable newspaper that my GB sticker on the car will not do any more...it has to be a UK sticker because ´Great Britain´ doesn´t include Northern Ireland and it may upset the Ulster people. This is also not the case, although you can buy them on Amazon. Halfords don't stock them. 

At the moment the only snag appears to be the 'traffic light' classification of every country in the world that anybody might want to go to and then return to Great Britain from . At the moment Spain is an 'amber' country.  

If we want to come back from there, we shall have to be fully vaccinated, have taken an official Covid test before we leave Spain (£40), and show proof of a booking for another, more expensive 'PCR' Test' two days after we get back.

Later today the British Government will announce the 'revised' classifications. If Spain goes 'red' today it will make things more difficult for us, although a nice ten-day mini-break in a posh hotel on our return sounds quite attractive.

I'm not sure if they're 'pet friendly' or not. What would we do with little Monty?
 

Even as I write, some of the finest minds in Britain and Northern Ireland are huddled  are together  in a dimly lit room, deep in the entrails of Number 10 Downing Street. 

Doctors, epidemiologists, virologists, public health scholars, statisticians, mappers, game theorists, epistemiologists, sofologists and lots of other 'ologists' are sitting round a big table, weighing up all the evidence from all round the world.

In another room, also somewhere in Number 10 Downing Street, Boris Johnson (Prime Minister), Sajid Javid (Secretary of State for Health) and Gavin Williamson (Secretary of State for Education and Fireplaces and 'caller') sit round an eleborate machine which, to the untrained eye, may resemble a bingo machine. 

 
On a pre-determined signal from Boris, Sajid Javid will spin the balls, each representing a country, in their little round cage, take one out at random and place it in the 'classification tray'. Then Gavin Williamson will call out, for example,

' Australia ....RED!'

or 'Guatamala ....AMBER!

and so on.

 

                                 'Greenland...GREEN!'

Sometimes Gavin, who is known for his quick wit, will shout, 'AMBER PLUS!' or 'RED ENHANCED!' or 'FLASHING AMBER!' and a new category is created. What larks!

The whole process takes about 45 minutes, but everybody has to wait for the scientific and medical 'experts' to finish their discussion, coffee and biscuits. Then their recommendations will be officially accepted by Boris and his wife, duly noted and ignored. 

Obviously we are hoping that Spain will be 'green' but 'amber' will be all right, too.

Spain's infection rate is dropping very quickly and its vaccination programme has been phenomenal, overtaking Brexit Britain, so...

Some time later...............

Phew! Spain is staying on amber for the moment, which is good news for us but bad news for anyone flying out to or hoping to return from Montenegro and Thailand which have both gone 'red'. Bad luck, you lot.

Or is it? Mrs. Sanchez has just come back from swimming and a woman there at Fox Hollies Leisure Centre is cockahoop. She has a holiday booked in Montenegro which has been cancelled and Easyjet were not going to refund her for the missed flight unless it was on the red list. Result!

'No hay mal que por bien no venga' (Every cloud has a silver lining).

 Only four days to go now before we drive down to Plymouth to catch the boat to Santander. It's the first time we've travelled to Spain since Great Britain and Northern Ireland officially left the European Union on December 31st. 2020.

Our passports are up to date, with more than 6 months of validity.

We've calculated that our return date does not take us outside the permitted 90 days we are allowed stay in Spain.

GB plates..OK

Driving Licences...OK

Car Insurance Green Card...OK

No meat or dairy products in our sandwiches...

I mustn't forget to fill in the Spanish FCS 'locator form' (no more that 48 hours before we dock in Santander), obtain a 'QR' code on line, download it to my phone and hope for the best when we meet the friendly Guardia Civil Border guards at Santander. I´d better do one for Mrs. Sánchez, too.

and then we have to sort out Monty's paperwork.

                          Monty...'because I'm worth it'.
 

Since December 2020 Monty's British (EU) Pet Passport is invalid, so he has to have an 'Animal Health Certificate' instead, which has to be obtained no more than 10 days before we leave, will be valid for 4 months, and has to renewed and paid for, before every new trip. These certificates are available from 'your local vet'.

Most of the vets at our local practice are either Portuguese or Spanish. All but one of them has now left the UK. Mariana, from Porto, is the last remaining one, and the only vet left in the practice who is authorised to provide the AHC...and she is going back to Portugal for good in November. 

She spent 1 hour 15 minutes filling out the form, which runs to 12 sheets of A4 and has to be signed and stamped 34 times. She´s had to do eleven in the last month and is fed up.

 


                        Monty's Animal Health Certificate.

and it cost £250.00.

I got the local vet in Spain to give Monty a Spanish (EU) passport last year but I've not tried to use it yet. He's bound to have made a mistake on it somewhere but I'll give it a whirl on Wednesday. 

I have to admit that my knees went weak in the vet's when they gave me the bill. I almost , instinctively, gave 'The 'Barnsley War Cry', 'Ow much?!'

 

 A couple of days before, our neighbours Julie and Alan, in Álora, who keep an eye on our luxury town house there, rang to say that they think somebody is living in there.

The electricity has been turned on, there's beer and tomatoes in the fridge, a half eaten plate of albondigas (meatballs) in the kitchen, greasy plates in the sink, smelly socks and a dirty shirt in our bedroom and our bed. 'has been slept on' and our key won't open the door. 


Another (British) neighbour had been round a few days before and rang the doorbell. A small Spanish chap had opened the door and told her we weren't in but would be back on September 8th. Our friends, Celia and Stewart, went round the next day to do some gardening for us. No sign of Goldilocks, but the photos they WhatsApped to us confirmed the 'occupation'.

PANIC!

                       Isabel (on the right) and friends.

I rang our neighbour, Isabel, to see if she knew anything about it. Isabel is a delightful, friendly person who speaks a language which, even after 20 years, is incomprehensible to us, and quite possibly to anyone north of Álora. This is what I think she said,

'Oooh Juan! (that's me) how are you? How is the señora? (that's Mrs. S). and the family.  When are you coming back? It's very hot.'

'All well thanks. Is there someone in my house?'

'Ah ha ha ha ha! Yes it's Juan.' (not me this time, but the chap who we pay to water the garden. He's a bit simple and doesn't have a phone.). 'Oooh ha ha ha ha' (then a lot of stuff I couldn't make out).

''Is Juan in the house?'

(same as above')

I'm very worried. Has he got the key?'

'Ha ha ha ha ha. Don't worry ha ha ha'.

Isabel. I want to talk to Juan.

'Ha..etc.'

' I want to talk to Juan. Please go and ring the bell.'

I rang Julie and asked her to try a get hold of Juan (physically if neccessary) and get him to talk to me on her phone. By the time she got there Isabel was already ringing our doorbell.

'Juan. Why are you in my house?'

'Hola Juan, tocayo (namesake)  How are you? And the señora? And the family?'

'Juan. Why are you in my house?

'....brother....guard.....drugs....gipsies...money....Isabelita....water plantpots.... middle brother....mad.............'

'I want you to leave. I want you to leave now.'

Some minutes later he agreed to leave. 

'I'll go at seven o'clock, when I've had my dinner'

'OK'.

'Do you want me to water the macetas (plants) tomorrow?'

'Yes please.'

After he had left and given the key to Julie, she went round to make sure the lock worked and found that Juan had left the place 'spotless.'

Isabel now won't accept our key. I may have evicted a homeless person. My name will be mud now. I must be missing something.

I felt awful. 

He's back in there now on the understanding he leaves on Saturday (today). 

Watch this space.

Juanito Sanchez August 28th 2021

 

 

 





 





 

Monday, 2 August 2021

Álora la bien cercada. Tú que estás en par del río...

 Álora la bien cercada. Tú que estás en par del río.

 


  It's been a roller coaster ride since we left Álora at the crack of dawn on November 9th. last year. As we drove up through La Plaza de la Fuente Arriba, we gave a wave to Manolo at Cafe/Bar Madrugón and shouted 'Hasta lo antes posible!' We had no idea when we´d be coming back, but we left behind us a town where road blocks were already going up on the roads and roundabouts . For an undefined period nobody would be able to enter or leave 'without a valid reason'. The National 'State of Alarm' banned all but essential travel between cities, towns and villages. We were not even sure that we would be allowed to travel as far as Bilbao on the north coast of Spain to catch our ferry home to England. In fact, we were stopped twice by the Guardia Civil, who waved us on without a word when they spotted our British plates and bulging roof bag. They were only too happy to get rid of us. The second wave of Covid 19 was on the move in Spain.



 That was nearly 8 months ago and after a series of dashed hopes we are crossing our fingers and hoping we'll be  able to go back in four weeks. 'Ojala!'.

The last 8 months have seen travel restrictions imposed, withdrawn, changed and re-imposed on a regular basis. Sometimes we were able to leave England but could not enter Spain; sometimes vice-versa and sometimes we could neither leave England nor enter Spain. At least we knew where we were with that one.

The latest UK government 'traffic light system' keeps changing all the time too. Threre's 'amber plus' now and there's talk of an 'amber watch list'. They make it up as they go along. Meanwhile Spain's vaccination programme has progressed 'sobre ruedas'. Spain now has a higher percentage of its  population with both vaccinations than Britain, Germany and the USA. There is no 'anti-vaccination' movement in Spain at the moment- the Spanish seem only to happy to have the jab as soon as they are eligible.

We have a ferry booking for Santander on September 1st. Mrs. S.has told me, 'If that ferry sails, we're on it!' You can't say fairer than that...unless, of course you've lost all your front teeth.

 Mrs. Sánchez and I have not applied for 'residencia' in Spain, so our 3 month long stays are classed as 'holidays'. A combination of the Covid restrictions and the effects of Brexit have made it very difficult for us to visit Spain as we used to. I have joined a few expat Facebook groups, such as 'Brexpats in Spain', 'Non-resident homeowners in Spain' and '180 days in Spain' and quite a few people are talking about selling up.

It's not been easy to keep connected to Alora. We haven't been away for so long in over twenty years, except for last year, of course. Lack of of practice in speaking Spanish has been the biggest worry. 'Use it or lose it'...how true. I'll be a gibbering heap the first time I go up to the 'top square' in Álora.

I found a language sharing app on the internet called 'Tandem' which was very useful for a couple of months. You just give them your details - name, language spoken,the language you're learning and main interests and then people contact you by text, voice recording or even live video link. And it's free. 

Within days I was in regular contact with people in Colombia, Peru, Bolivia, Mallorca, The Dominican Republic and a Venzuelan in  Brussels. This site is really good! I was soon getting practice  with speaking, listening, reading and writing Spanish. I've learned a lot about South America too. Some of my new pals are very serious about teaching me Spanish.  After a few weeks I couldn't keep it up.  A baker in Pasto, near Medellín was calling me almost every night (Colombia is five hours behind England). It seems to have petered out a bit now. Colombia is having big political problems on top of their Covid problems.

I still get a lot of 'partner' requests, but these are mostly from young women who, I think, are really looking for a younger person. The first one of of these I replied to turned out to be a very emotional, argumentative and drunken woman. It took me a week or two to shake her off. Requests from potential female 'partners' have petered out now since I began my communications with 'Que traes puesto?'

So how can I keep connected to Álora and Spanish life?

Mrs. S and I text and sometimes call people we know who live in Álora, mostly Brits, which helps a lot unless it's a conversation with Juan, who has been  watering our garden since last November and has just bought a new Porsche with the proceeds. He speaks Perote, which is a bit like Spanish but very fast, growly and without any consonants.

I read the web page of the Ayuntamiento for local news (www.alora.es). It's nice know that the piscina de verano is open again. They've just had an inter-pueblo swimming gala in the recently remodeled pool.  

 


What a beautiful venue!

It's been very encouraging and heart-warming to learn about all the events that the town has been organising during the Covid Pandemic to keep everyone's spirits up, especially since the Semana Santa processions were cancelled for the second year. 


I expect that the summer Feria won't take place either. We hope to get back to Álora before the 9th.September, (
the Day of the Virgin of the Flowers), the patron virgin of Álora. I doubt if the annual Romeria will take place, though.

I noticed that a sculptor had come to Álora last week to sculpt, in public, and to musical accompaniment a bust of the famous character in Álora's history, Don Diego de Ribera, El Adelantado.

 

 Here's the escultor onubense (the sculptor from Huelva), Martín Lagares (on the left) with David Gutierrez, the Perote pianist who played while Martín sculpted.

 

Martín was presented with a basket of 'local produce' for doing the work. I don't know where they're going to put Don Diego  but he´s likely to melt if they leave him out in the sun - and that local produce should be consumed ASAP, especially if it includes Álora's signature dish, sopas perotas. That stuff is dry enough when it's fresh, but in THAT heat!?

David Guitierrez is one of Álora's best. For many years he was a music teacher and leader of the Álora municipal orchestra, which was a youth orchestra. Mrs.S and I observed the development of the orchestra over many years and saw it become a really impressive ensemble. All thanks to David.

A few years ago David was persuaded to stand for the position of Alcalde (Mayor) of Álora on behalf of the Partido Popular (PP). It was a closely contested election but David lost. Tragically for him the rules meant that because he had stood for election he had to resign as music teacher and Leader of the Álora Orchestra. He took up a post in Ronda and these days he leads the band of the Hermandad de Jesus  Nazareno de las Torres in Álora.

 

Don Diego de Ribera 'El Adelantado' and the Romance of Alora.


If you go up Calle Ancha to the 'Castillo Arabe' you may notice a tiled plaque on the left of the gate, not the small one, the long one. It displays The Old Romance of Álora.

 Here's a translation by Michael Newton, author of 'Álora, Portrait of a Friendly Town' and other books about Álora.

( That may be a bit hard to read, especially the Spanish version. I took a copy of it to my Spanish teacher in Birmingham and she couldn't make head nor tail of it!)

This is the story of Don Diego de Ribera 'El Adelante'. It's called 'un bello romance' on the plaque but there is no 'boy meets girl' about this tale.

I once learned this by heart in order to impress the locals in Alora but the opportunity, strangely, never came up.

A 'romance' in this sense means a poem, story or song which is passed on, by word of mouth in the local languages and dialects. These 'ballads' were usually stories of great deeds and happenings which did not have a written form. They were recited or sung in public by trovadores and juglares (singer/songwriters and minstrels) who travelled around perfoming for beer money and cigarettes*. They may have done a bit of juggling too.

*When The Romance of Alora was written, in 1434, tobacco hadn't been invented because, as everyone knows, Cristobal Colón (aka Christopher Columbus) did not 'sail the ocean blue' until 1492.


'So I have to set fire to this and breathe in the smoke, right?'

 

 The story of El Adelantado was big news back in 1434 and in 1435 too, probably, as there were no newspapers in those days (first printing press introduced in 1476) and it would take these trovadores and juglares a fair old time to get round all the towns and villages.

 


In 1434, much of Andalucia was still under Muslim rule and had been for the last 723 years. The Christian armies from the north had tried many times to conquer Álora but couldn't break through the outer walls. ('la bien cercada') This time Don Diego 'the Governor' tried again with his army and powerful guns and managed to bash a big hole in the outer wall.

You can still see parts of the outer walls of the castle. In those days the people lived inside the outer wall but could go into the main castle enclosure in times of danger. Most of the stone from the outer walls were later used to build the houses down Calle Ancha and the other streets leading down from the castle.

Basically, El Adelantado blew a big hole in the wall and so all the inhabitants grabbed what they could from their houses - gold, clothes, flour, wheat, pies, raisins and figs and fled up the hill to the main castle.

 The Christians were just about to storm the castle when a Moorish lad up in the battlements with a loaded crossbow shouted out. 'We surrender. The castle is yours, Adelantado'. Don Diego was wearing his tin helmet at the time and a bit deaf, so he couldn't see where the shouting was coming from. He raised his visor, looked up, and the lad shot him through the eye. Foolish move. Good shot. Not fair.

Think Monty Python and the Holy Grail

That was the end of the seige and Don Diego was carried away to  the medical centre, but he only had time to make his will before he died.

It was another fifty years before Alora la Bien Cercada really did surrender, a long time in those days.

The rest, as they, say is as good as a change.

 

 Juanito Sanchez, Man in Alora,  August 2nd. 2021