Egg-bound and bound for Álora. ¡Manda Guevos!

I don't believe it!

After three days of hard travellin' on road and sea Mrs. Sánchez, Tommy, Monty  and I pulled into Álora feeling about half past dead. 
Our very obliging neighbours had blocked a parking space for us right outside our 'casucha' on Calle Benito Suarez,  so unloading all our equipaje (stuff) took no time at all. By 8.00 pm (Spanish time) los Sánchez were up in La Plaza de la Fuente Arriba (The top square) in search of ice cold red wine and tasty tapas.
  
First Stop; Los Caballos Dos and los niños del Divino who 'run' the place.

´'Dos copas de Ribera del Duero y la carta, por favor.'  (Two red wines and the menu please)

'No tenemos carta. Tenemos queso, jamon o tostada con secreto iberico' (No menu but we've got some cheese, ham and pork on toast.)

'¡No puedo creerlo! (I can't believe it)

Now it's true a Tuesday night is not the best time to look for a meal in the top square these days. In the winter months (January and February) nobody goes out much anyway - but during la canicula (the dog days of August)?
Lo d'Antonio's on La Rampa  is shut on Tuesdays anyway but it appears that several bars in town are closed all week for 'vacaciones'!!.¡ Por  piedad'! ( For pity's sake!)

It took me back to my childhood days in Oldham in the late fifties when all the cotton mills shut down for 'Wakes Week' and everybody cleared off to sunny Blackpoool for fresh air and fun.
Except me.

                    Wakes Week 'up north. 'This town is coming like a ghost town' (The Specials). 
                     (with no smoke).

                                                        Fresh air and fun


What a bleedin' liberty! Didn't they know we were coming back today?

The evening was unseasonably chilly and Mrs.S didn't fancy the cold aluminium chairs they put outside La Casa de Romero (She hates those uncomfortable bum freezers and everyone knows you can get piles from sitting on cold seats). Also, the 'Deliverance Drinking Duo' from Dudley were having a quick tubo in the doorway before their appointment next door at the 'Chino'

Handy tip from the Dudley Duo : The 'Chino' ,next door, stays open late and sells cold 2 litre bottles of Cruzcampo for 1.50€ a piece.

Bar Alegría, Cafe Bar Madrugón and Cafetería Azahar don't open at night even at the best of times so we set off up Calle Vera Cruz towards the bar-lined boulevard named after Spain's greatest author and Álora resident, Calle Cervantes.
We'd  got as far as Bar El Gusto (known as El Bulgaro by the local Perotes) when Beatles fan Khalid  greeted us with another invitation to his house. I proudly showed him a photo of me on my phone outside the phoney 'Cavern Club' on Matthew Street in Liverpool. He was well impressed.

 




We then had an unfathomable one-sided discussion about 'Bressi' (Brexit) with Filiipe of the IU (United Left Party) and it was nearly 11.00 pm.by the time we sat down inside Bar Casa Pinto, which is now one of the best places to eat in town. 

                                                          Bar Casa Pinto

They do a selection of 'Sartená'  here, a traditional Andalucían dish, I'm told, which is a balti pan with virtually anything you fancy on top of  a deep bed of chips and fried  green peppers with a fried egg on top. I had a beicon (bacon) one and Mrs. S. had one with 'gambas fritas' (fried prawns). 

                                                 Una beicon y jamon sartená mmmm.

I don't know about you but I find you can't go far wrong with an egg or two -  a culinary maxim embraced enthusiastically by Spanish cooks from Bilbao to Benalmadena. But it's in the La Mancha region of central Spain that they go really egg-mad. 

We stayed the night last Monday  at El Real Castillo near Tembleque in Castille - La Mancha. It wasn't a real castle at all but they took dogs, the parking was free and the food was great, if a bit eggy. Mrs. Sánchez had pisto manchego and I had morcilla con patatas fritas (and two eggs).
We both started with Sopa de Ajo (garlic soup).

Pisto Manchego (spot the egg).




                                                    Sopa de ajo (garlic soup)

It's the land of 'Quijote Cuisine' and I doubt that there´s anything on offer in any restaurant in La Mancha that does not include at least one egg, usually fried.
Don Quijote, the 'Man of La Muncha' himself, started every day with a plate of fried eggs and went to bed with a large glass of egg nog. Indeed, many of his famous sayings include references to eggs and/or chickens. For example:

         'All eggs are good (or are less) with bread'

'The proof of the pudding is in the eggs'

'The egg,  Sancho my friend, is one of the most precious gifts that Heaven has  bestowed on mankind.'

'Can one desire too much of a good thing'

'The truth is, Sáncho, I think that, after a woman, my second choice would be a chicken'

          'Go to work on an egg'.

                                        Don Quijote come huevo (Don Quijote eats egg).


 The Spanish word for 'egg' is 'huevo' (pronounced 'Wave-oh' ) (plural: huevos), which is also used instead of 'testiculo' to mean 'testicle'.(even in medical text books and the bible!). 'Testicles' also translates as 'cojones',(pronounced co-hone is)  but only in the plural. (except for this extraordinary angry ejaculation):

"¡Si no te gusta lo que te digo, chúpame un cojón!"
("If you don't like what I'm saying, suck my testicle!")

Such pithy and entertaining wordplay provides much  amusement here in Spain, as you can imagine, and there are literally thousands of popular expressions using 'cojones',and 'huevos' and if I knew any I would give you some examples. If you tried making a few up yourself  you  would probably find that they are bona fide Spanish. A good rule of thumb, though, if you want to avoid embarrassment or a fat lip, is to avoid any reference to huevos at all in polite company  which, of course, may limit your options when eating out in Castilla-La Mancha.

Tip ; Don't confuse 'cojones' with 'cajones' (drawers). And try not to trap one in the other. 

cajones

cojones

This weeks competition:

Make up a 'cojones' comedy quip using this photo that I took in a bar in La Guardia (Castilla- La Mancha) last Tuesday.
.

  Answers, as usual, on the back of a 50€ note. PO Box 51 Álora


Stop Press.......Stop Press............

Good news. Lo D'Antonio's will be re-opening on Thursday at mediodía. Casa Abilio, which has been shut during August is now open again.
 Cafe Bar Alregría is open again but Paco tells me he won't be doing tapas.
 ¡Me están tocando los huevos! 

New Bar News 

The bar on your left as you enter Álora by the   'nuevo acceso' which used to  be Bar Fuente Nueva, then  Bar Something Else, then Bar Fuente Nueva again has now  re-re-reopened as 'Casa Nelly'.

Have you been? What do you think?
                                Nelly's Bar


Good to be back. It's the Romería next week!



Juanito Sánchez 5th. September 2017.