Mr. and Mrs. Man in Álora get plastered.

'So many Perotes have ended up in A&E after slipping on the candle wax in recent years that this year the ayuntamiento (town hall) has put up warning notices.' 

That is wot I wrote on 15th. April in the hope that everybody round here would be very careful and I even  suggested that the Ayuntamiento (Town Hall) should use wax removers to make the pavements of Álora safe to tread.
Less than a week later I, Juanito Sánchez, was delivered to the 'Urgencias' department of our spanking brand new Hospital Valle del Guadalhorce with my European Health Insurance Card (EHIC) in one hand a broken wrist on the other.

                        Hospital Valle del Guadalhorce

I broke it by slipping on some wet clay several kilometres outside town - far from the merest smear of candle wax! 
After a couple of radiografías (x-rays) and a lot of yanking  of my arm I was discharged with my arm in giant plaster cast and an appointment for a review two weeks later at El Centro Periférico de Especialidades San José Obrero in Málaga (which everybody calls Barbarela).

                                       Barbarella

Four weeks later I'm still unable to drive the car, tie my own shoelaces open a bottle of wine or write another informative and witty episode of this blog.

If things weren't bad enough Mrs. Sánchez fell down a hole a week later just yards away from the same spot and broke her ankle, proving that lightning CAN strike in the same place twice.

 Los rayos nunca caen dos veces en el mismo sitio. (Lightning never strikes twice in the same place) (bollocks!).

Mrs.S's injury was far more serious than mine. A 112 call brought an ambulance with a doctor and two paramedics and she was whisked away to El Hospital Universitario de la Virgen de la Victoria which everybody calls 'El Clinico'.

            The European Health Insurance Card.(EHIC)

Mrs. Sánchez and I do not have any holiday or medical insurance so it's a good job that she had this little gem in her hand when they wheeled her into the busy 'Urgencias' reception area. By the time I arrived ( about 20 minutes behind the ambulance thanks to our neighbour, Alan), the Sistema National de Salud (Spanish National Health Service) had already started working on her and two young doctors were waiting in reception to explain to me what was happening. They had already knocked her out, cleaned the open fracture, stopped the bleeding, straightened the bones out and were about to take her for a second x-ray. 
At 1.00 am. the next morning they operated on her leg and by 10.am she was awake and cheerful, considering how serious the injury was and the fact that, with my arm in plaster, I wasn't going to be much help.
As luck would have it our good friend and olive grove manager Colin 'Ginger' Laycock was already on the AVE (high speed train) from Madrid to Málaga and has been looking after us ever since - and will probably continue to do so until he finds out where I've hidden his passport.  

The EHIC card gives us medical cover for emergency treatment, including ambulances, hospital expenses and medication in all EU countries as long as we use their national health service. In the same way, residents of all EU countries can use the British NHS.

The treatment Mrs. Sánchez and I have received has been fantastic.  The two hospitals we used are spotless. The nurses and doctors are second to none and our follow-up treatment so far has been excellent. Thank you very much.

When Britain leaves the EU next year this provision will stop.
No replacement for the EHIC has been agreed.

Our friends here in Spain can not understand why Britain wants to leave the EU. but it looks as though the British government is determined to do it even if it means giving  Eric Pickles (a Tory political heavyweight) a peerage.

                             Lord Pickles of Pieland or The Duke of Cumberlandsausageeggandchips?

                              The 'Arrabal del Castillo de Álora'


If you walk up to El Castillo (the castle) via Calle Ancha you can't help noticing these new steps half way up on the left. They took 2 years to build and cost 130,000 €. and  are the 'first phase' of the 'remodelación 'Arrabal del Castillo'. Here's our well loved and long serving alcalde (mayor) José 'Epi' Sánchez (no relation) opening the 'Placeta Compás de las Ánimas y del Nazareño' in February.

The steps look very nice, but as yet there is no wheelchair access. People with mobility issues need not fret though. I can tell you that the steps don't lead to anywhere.

Árrabal means 'the poor part of town' which has not gone down too well with the numerous British expats who have made Calle Ancha their home, having spent thousands of euros renovating the old buildings and installing air conditioning, Sky TV.,American-style fridges, hot tubs  and gas barbecues.
The ayuntamiento wants to thank the vecinos (local inhabitants) for putting up with the noise, dust, broken drains and broken doorsteps so they have given the houses opposite the 'Spanish Steps' some potted geraniums and new 'built-in' buzones (letter boxes).

The view from the steps showing a new cobbled section of road, the potted geraniums and the new letterboxes.

You can't please everyone though. Try telling S** at number 40 that his house looks nice now. He only went back to the UK for a few weeks and when he came back his new polished -brass number 40 had been ripped off and replaced with a little white Spanish 'quarenta' (40) and his wall had been bashed in to fit the new white buzon - all without a 'by your leave' or nothing. S**, who measures 6ft. 11 ins. in his socks and is built like a cagadero de ladrillos (translate that one yourself) is livid and looking for trouble.

I was very sorry to miss the visit to Álora of two residents of the Turks and Caicos Islands who are readers of this venerable organ. I expect Mrs. S and I were busy with hospitals at the time. A big 'hello' from me.

Juanito Sánchez May 21st. 2018