Clap for the public health heroes and heroines
Life in Lockdown. House Arrest Hallucinations
Mrs. Sánchez and I are well and truly 'not in Álora' at the moment, except for our thoughts and hopes, that is. Our boat, the good old Pont Aven will not be sailing from Plymouth on the 3rd. of May, or at any time in the future at this rate.
Looking on the bright side, neither of us nor any of our family have been struck down with the virus which need not now be named, but resembles a squishy rubber toy that you might buy for a puppy or other small pet. Apparently they are lying around all over the place, just waiting for you touch one of them one and then touch your face.
I hope that none of the substantial 'community' of avid readers of this organ has caught it either, and I would like to re-assure all of you here and now that YOU CAN NOT CATCH IT BY READING this load of tripe, even though it could effect your well-being in any number of other unpleasant ways.
If you are reading this in Spain, you must be tearing your hair out, especially if you live in an apartment. At least here, in Great Britain we are allowed out once a day for exercise and to do essential shopping. Spanish children have been literally locked in for over five weeks and will have to apechugar (put up with) it until April 26th. at least. Dogs have fared rather better.
We've no idea how long this is going to go on or how the world will look on the other side, but for the time being we know that keeping ourselves and others safe by staying in is for the best. Let's hope that when it´s safe to go out again we will remember all the front line public service workers and the work they are doing in such difficult and dangerous circumstances and start to pay them properly. Who would you like to depend on? A nurse, a doctor, and a care worker or a merchant banker , hedge fund boss or a billionaire media owner?
As I'm writing this, Spain appears to be getting over the worst and in Málaga not one person has been admitted into intensive care for two consecutive days, and there have been no deaths from the virus.
There's not much to write about at the moment, being under 'house arrest' in suburban Birmingham. Not a lot happens on our daily walk with Monty. It's the first time we've seen a Spring in England, though, and we've got a pretty good 2 mile walk through 'Moseley Bog' and along the River Cole. I'd forgotten what a bluebell looks like.
What Bluebells look like.
The
radio and TV are putting on repeats and recorded shows all the time, so
I thought I might fill the space with a repeat of a 2013 'Man in Álora'
which you may have missed or have forgotten. Out of 168 posts, this is
the one that got the most 'hits'. If you make it all the way though
there's a treat for you at the end....... yes another poem from 'The Bard of Billesley', as I am now being called by me. This time it's a sonnet. I can appreciate that it won't make up for no pie news or bar news but remember, these are difficult times.
Man in Alora
Monday, 23 September 2013
Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition
Yesterday we went to Casarabonela, a small picturesque town in the Sierra de las Nieves about 20 km. from Álora.
Casarabonela
This weekend they are having a Recreación Histórica 2013 Inquisición en Casarabonela 1560. (A 2013 historic recreation of the Inquisition in Casarabonela). 300 locals are dressing up in period costumes and the town square has been converted into an espacio escénico to commemorate the arrival of the notorious and dreaded Spanish Inquisition in the town in 1560 on the hunt for heretics, blasphemers, bigamists, horse smugglers, freemasons , moriscos, crypto- jews, witches, sodomites, solicitors and foreigners. If the espacio escénico is authentic, the inquisitors would have been pleased to find in the town square; a bread shop, a cheese shop, six bars, an olive oil shop, a tea shop, a small prison and a tourist information office.
On our arrival a young lad on crutches (not a costume item as it turned out) led us to a shed where I was interrogated by a shifty fellow in a big hat who asked my name (I told him 'Pedro' - a lie) and then I was invited to stand in a cell. Apparently I was being accused of one of the above indiscretions but none was specified. This was fun and a good start to the afternoon until it became clear that the lad was demanding money and wouldn't let me out until I gave him 1 maravedí which turns out to be about 1€ in new money. I told him to keep the change and was given my certificate of release by el inquisidor.
the view from my cell
my release papers
Mrs. Sanchez reckons I got off lightly considering the charges.
Everyone was having a jolly old time drinking local beer and eating local tapas but mostly taking photos with their phones, tablets and cameras. Most of the locals were either dressed as moriscos or 16th. century Christians except for a rather glamorous young woman who had clearly mistranslated the poster and looked liked Edith Crawley off Downton Abbey. She was with a nice young chap in bloomers and high heels (circa 1475. The White Queen?) who wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes if Torquemada had spotted him click - clacking across the cobbles. The same applies to a German Jehovah's Witness Estate Agent I spotted. (Got him on three counts at least).
I approached three pretty morisco girls chatting and smoking on the church steps. I asked the prettiest to explain something in my programme but her chewing gum got stuck on it and the moment was lost. How we all laughed!
"Watch out if they offer you a spot of relaxation, girls"
At a given signal the Escenification história. Escena 6 began. Some women had an argument and an old lady was marched away by a couple of priests and four burly soldiers. I bought some cheese and we went home.
The weekend of events in Casarabonela is another of the village initiatives which have appeared all over Málaga Province. Some have been runnng for a few years and they are all a way of attracting tourism (mainly from other towns and villages) and so generating income. Álora has it's 'Sopas Perotas Day' (October 5th.). Almogía has 'The Day of the Almonds', Alozaina has 'The Day of the Olives', El Burgo 'The Bandaleros' and Los Bobos has 'The Day of the Village Idiot'. Good luck to them all I say.
The Spanish Inquisition really did come to Casarabonela in 1560. They were looking for Moriscos (moors who had converted from Islam to Christianity.) and in 1560 Casarabonela was full of them.
Ferdinand and Isabela (Los Reyes Católicos) finally conquered Spain with the fall of Granada in 1492. At that time moors and Christians had lived reasonably well together down here but Ferdinand and Isabela had already expelled Jews (about 40,000) who would not convert to Christianity from Spain by 'The Alhambra Decree' (1492) (finally rescinded in 1968!)
Moors or arabic people had lived in Andalucía since the invasion in 711 but F&A wanted to get rid of them all so they set up The Tribunal of The Holy Office of the Inquisition in 1478 which set about ethnically cleansing Spain and later its colonies.
.png)
The Seal of the Spanish Tribunal
The original Inquisition had been set up by the papacy in the 12th. century to stamp out heresy in France. The Spanish version was mostly aimed at Jews and Moors. There weren't many heretics in Spain as Protestantism never caught on, but any of the above would do as long as they had a healthy bank balance ; the Spanish Inquisition had no budget and depended on confiscation of money, land and property. "If they do not burn we do not eat". Its most famous 'Grand Inquisitor' was Tomás de Torquemada, a Dominican friar from Valladolíd who looks a bit of a bruiser. There is a posh hotel nearly named after him in Benalmádena.
Between 1560 and 1571 82% of those accused by the Spanish Inquisition were Moriscos.
Torquemada
Anyone seems to have been able to denounce a 'crypto-jew' or 'false morisco'. Suspicion could fall on you if there was no smoke from your chimney on Saturday, you bought meat from a 'converted' morisco or you ate a lot of vegetables. Everybody ate as much pork product as they could when anyone was looking.
This is how it worked.
Quite unexpectedly the Spanish Inquisition would arrive at your town to hear accusations. Everyone would be given 40 days 'to relieve their consciences' and/or accuse others of some transgressions. All accusations were anonymous and the accused were not told why they were being arrested. Sounds a bit unfair so far doesn't it?
Then came detention in a secret prison in the nearest main Inquisition centre for up to 2 years while all your property was confiscated and you were 'encouraged' to make a clean breast of it. A trial then took place which would often involve torture. It may be a fine point but they say that torture was not used as a punishment but only as a means of interrogation. So that's all right then.
The three most popular tortures were:
the garrucha where the 'defendant' was hung by his/her wrists and periodically dropped short distances. Sometimes weights were attached to the feet. This tended to dislocate the joints a bit.
The potro (rack) was stretching things a bit far, too, although some participants found it quite therapeutic in the initial stages. (see also osteopathy.)
The toca involved sticking a cloth in the mouth of the interrogee and pouring water on it, giving the impression of drowning (see also waterboarding).
I think they all sound unpleasant.
A Wacky Warehouse circa 1560
Sentences ranged from acquitted (rare) to relaxation (ha ha wait for it!).
In between were:
penanced : guilty but made to work on the galleys (average survival rate 5 years) or exiled etc.
reconciled : long jail sentence, flogging, whipping, confiscation of property, chinese burn etc.
Relaxation meant that you were turned over to the local council for burning at the stake unless you begged for mercy and then you might get off with a garrotting. The church didn't carry out executions. They were, after all, Christian gentlemen in Holy Orders. Some people were convicted in their absence and burned in effigy. This sounds a good deal better than the other outcomes and could have avoided all that stretching and drowning, not to mention burning. My choice every time.
The executions took place at an auto de fé which was a bit like an Olympic Closing Ceremony held in a McDonald's. Estimates of people burned in person in Spain vary from 3,000 to 28,450 depending on who you ask and how much Cruzcampo they have necked.
As Leonard Bernstein said in his musical version of 'Candide'; It's a lovely day for burning and watching people fry".
An auto de fé in Valladolid 21st. May 1559
As for the poor old moriscos of Casarabonela, the ones who survived the 1560 inquisition were all ethnically cleansed in 1609 when hundreds of thousands of them were expelled from Spain following the Morisco Rebellion of 1568. Casarabonela was repopulated by people from Seville with promises of free housing, as much callos as they could eat and a bit of street theatre.
The Spanish Inquisition was abolished in 1834 although General Franco wanted to bring it back.
September 23rd. 2013
Yesterday we went to Casarabonela, a small picturesque town in the Sierra de las Nieves about 20 km. from Álora.
This weekend they are having a Recreación Histórica 2013 Inquisición en Casarabonela 1560. (A 2013 historic recreation of the Inquisition in Casarabonela). 300 locals are dressing up in period costumes and the town square has been converted into an espacio escénico to commemorate the arrival of the notorious and dreaded Spanish Inquisition in the town in 1560 on the hunt for heretics, blasphemers, bigamists, horse smugglers, freemasons , moriscos, crypto- jews, witches, sodomites, solicitors and foreigners. If the espacio escénico is authentic, the inquisitors would have been pleased to find in the town square; a bread shop, a cheese shop, six bars, an olive oil shop, a tea shop, a small prison and a tourist information office.
On our arrival a young lad on crutches (not a costume item as it turned out) led us to a shed where I was interrogated by a shifty fellow in a big hat who asked my name (I told him 'Pedro' - a lie) and then I was invited to stand in a cell. Apparently I was being accused of one of the above indiscretions but none was specified. This was fun and a good start to the afternoon until it became clear that the lad was demanding money and wouldn't let me out until I gave him 1 maravedí which turns out to be about 1€ in new money. I told him to keep the change and was given my certificate of release by el inquisidor.
Mrs. Sanchez reckons I got off lightly considering the charges.
Everyone was having a jolly old time drinking local beer and eating local tapas but mostly taking photos with their phones, tablets and cameras. Most of the locals were either dressed as moriscos or 16th. century Christians except for a rather glamorous young woman who had clearly mistranslated the poster and looked liked Edith Crawley off Downton Abbey. She was with a nice young chap in bloomers and high heels (circa 1475. The White Queen?) who wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes if Torquemada had spotted him click - clacking across the cobbles. The same applies to a German Jehovah's Witness Estate Agent I spotted. (Got him on three counts at least).
I approached three pretty morisco girls chatting and smoking on the church steps. I asked the prettiest to explain something in my programme but her chewing gum got stuck on it and the moment was lost. How we all laughed!
Inquisitor asking tourist if he is a sodomite, and if not could he point one out, please.
"Watch out if they offer you a spot of relaxation, girls"
At a given signal the Escenification história. Escena 6 began. Some women had an argument and an old lady was marched away by a couple of priests and four burly soldiers. I bought some cheese and we went home.
The weekend of events in Casarabonela is another of the village initiatives which have appeared all over Málaga Province. Some have been runnng for a few years and they are all a way of attracting tourism (mainly from other towns and villages) and so generating income. Álora has it's 'Sopas Perotas Day' (October 5th.). Almogía has 'The Day of the Almonds', Alozaina has 'The Day of the Olives', El Burgo 'The Bandaleros' and Los Bobos has 'The Day of the Village Idiot'. Good luck to them all I say.
The Spanish Inquisition really did come to Casarabonela in 1560. They were looking for Moriscos (moors who had converted from Islam to Christianity.) and in 1560 Casarabonela was full of them.
Ferdinand and Isabela (Los Reyes Católicos) finally conquered Spain with the fall of Granada in 1492. At that time moors and Christians had lived reasonably well together down here but Ferdinand and Isabela had already expelled Jews (about 40,000) who would not convert to Christianity from Spain by 'The Alhambra Decree' (1492) (finally rescinded in 1968!)
Moors or arabic people had lived in Andalucía since the invasion in 711 but F&A wanted to get rid of them all so they set up The Tribunal of The Holy Office of the Inquisition in 1478 which set about ethnically cleansing Spain and later its colonies.
.png)
The original Inquisition had been set up by the papacy in the 12th. century to stamp out heresy in France. The Spanish version was mostly aimed at Jews and Moors. There weren't many heretics in Spain as Protestantism never caught on, but any of the above would do as long as they had a healthy bank balance ; the Spanish Inquisition had no budget and depended on confiscation of money, land and property. "If they do not burn we do not eat". Its most famous 'Grand Inquisitor' was Tomás de Torquemada, a Dominican friar from Valladolíd who looks a bit of a bruiser. There is a posh hotel nearly named after him in Benalmádena.
Between 1560 and 1571 82% of those accused by the Spanish Inquisition were Moriscos.
Torquemada
Anyone seems to have been able to denounce a 'crypto-jew' or 'false morisco'. Suspicion could fall on you if there was no smoke from your chimney on Saturday, you bought meat from a 'converted' morisco or you ate a lot of vegetables. Everybody ate as much pork product as they could when anyone was looking.
This is how it worked.
Quite unexpectedly the Spanish Inquisition would arrive at your town to hear accusations. Everyone would be given 40 days 'to relieve their consciences' and/or accuse others of some transgressions. All accusations were anonymous and the accused were not told why they were being arrested. Sounds a bit unfair so far doesn't it?
The garrucha and the rack
Then came detention in a secret prison in the nearest main Inquisition centre for up to 2 years while all your property was confiscated and you were 'encouraged' to make a clean breast of it. A trial then took place which would often involve torture. It may be a fine point but they say that torture was not used as a punishment but only as a means of interrogation. So that's all right then.
The three most popular tortures were:
the garrucha where the 'defendant' was hung by his/her wrists and periodically dropped short distances. Sometimes weights were attached to the feet. This tended to dislocate the joints a bit.
The potro (rack) was stretching things a bit far, too, although some participants found it quite therapeutic in the initial stages. (see also osteopathy.)
The toca involved sticking a cloth in the mouth of the interrogee and pouring water on it, giving the impression of drowning (see also waterboarding).
I think they all sound unpleasant.
A Wacky Warehouse circa 1560
Sentences ranged from acquitted (rare) to relaxation (ha ha wait for it!).
In between were:
penanced : guilty but made to work on the galleys (average survival rate 5 years) or exiled etc.
reconciled : long jail sentence, flogging, whipping, confiscation of property, chinese burn etc.
Relaxation meant that you were turned over to the local council for burning at the stake unless you begged for mercy and then you might get off with a garrotting. The church didn't carry out executions. They were, after all, Christian gentlemen in Holy Orders. Some people were convicted in their absence and burned in effigy. This sounds a good deal better than the other outcomes and could have avoided all that stretching and drowning, not to mention burning. My choice every time.
The executions took place at an auto de fé which was a bit like an Olympic Closing Ceremony held in a McDonald's. Estimates of people burned in person in Spain vary from 3,000 to 28,450 depending on who you ask and how much Cruzcampo they have necked.
As Leonard Bernstein said in his musical version of 'Candide'; It's a lovely day for burning and watching people fry".
An auto de fé in Valladolid 21st. May 1559
As for the poor old moriscos of Casarabonela, the ones who survived the 1560 inquisition were all ethnically cleansed in 1609 when hundreds of thousands of them were expelled from Spain following the Morisco Rebellion of 1568. Casarabonela was repopulated by people from Seville with promises of free housing, as much callos as they could eat and a bit of street theatre.
The Spanish Inquisition was abolished in 1834 although General Franco wanted to bring it back.
September 23rd. 2013
It
doesn't seem that long since it began.
The
season moved from winter into spring.
We
watched it come. No leadership,no plan.
No
ventilators, tests or anything.
Behind
her rainbow window, Ruthie stands.
She
can't go out. Her school has been closed down.
Just,
'herd immunity'. 'Now wash your hands!'
A
bus goes by. There's no-one going to town.
They
closed the local park, too, yesterday.
'The
weather's been so good. 'It's such a shame'
'Just
kids who broke the rules, I'll bet.' they say.
'They
didn't keep their distance - end of game'.
And
every hour of every day and night,
They're
fighting for our lives there, out of sight.
I hope I'll have cheered up a bit before the next edition.
A big cheer for all health workers, firemen, care workers and for everybody risking their lives for us.
Now back to the jigsaw puzzle.
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