The Pandemic?
Yes, apart from a few Pacific Islands, Turkmanistan and North Korea, every other country in the world has been hit by the biggest pandemic since 1918, or since records began, whichever is the earliest. (and there's a stewards' enquiry into the last two places)....and it's by no means over yet.
Even so, on Monday, Britain entered the next phase of Brexit Boris Johnson's ROAD TO FREEDOM.
When I peered through our bedroom curtains this morning, (May 15th.), you could almost believe it was 'all over bar 't shouting' as people used to say 'up north' in an accent which is now associated with 'red walls' and racism.
New freedoms have been announced for which we are all truly thankful. I'm just not sure what they are and if it's now safe to go out and enjoy ourselves ...or not. I know that all the pubs, bars and restaurants can now open their doors, but we've been told we have to very careful and use our 'common sense', which is just the opposite of why we used to go to pubs anyway, and probably still is, judging by yesterday's reports.
Monday night at the 'The Pig on the Wall',
Lower Gornall.
I remember that not very long ago were were told that Dominic Cummings was using his common sense when he legged it to Durham and that the people who died in the Grenfell Fire should have used their common sense and disobeyed the instructions to stay inside their flats, as their walls melted in the heat.
Let's face it, common sense isn't so common.
Voltaire, which wasn't his real name, lived in the 18th.century and was a highly respected writer and philosopher, so you'd think that more people would have spotted the absence of common sense in the world well before David Cameron's decision to hold a Brexit Referendum.
Perhaps if Voltaire had been English, rather than French, and gone to Eton, David Cameron, Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and now pimp for a dodgy bank, wouldn't have overestimated the distribution of common sense among the British electorate and not plunged good old Britain into the god-awful mess we're in now. Oh, but he DID go to Eton, didn't he.
(I'm assuming here that regular readers will have noticed that I am not fond of Brexit and will have already abandoned this venereal organ or don't mind the odd partisan peroration.)
Voltaire (not his real name) also said, 'Il faut cultiver notre jardin'. (we must cultivate our garden) and the British really went for that pithy bit of advice.
Mrs. Sanchez and I were hoping that we might get a chance to got to Álora to sort our garden out.
You may remember, but there's no harm in reminding you, that our 'carmen' or patio garden, starred in a much-watched episode of Channel Four's popular game show, 'A Place in the Sun', (for which I have still not received a centimo despite numerous repeats this year and good reviews on Tripadvisor.)
Well, the garden's gone downhill a bit this year as we haven't been able to go to Álora. In fact it has been described as 'una selva (a jungle) by a well-meaning neighbour.
We're paying a local chap, Juan, (no relation) to water the plants once a week, but so far we've not been able to persuade anyone to do a bit of pruning, despite promising them our undying gratitude and all the grapes they can eat.
Offers would be welcome.
Spain has banned all visits* for all but Spanish 'residents', which we are not. Meanwhile, The English government has invented a 'road map', with 'traffic lights' which are on amber at the moment, and may, or may not, mean that travel to Spain is banned, or not, depending on which government bright spark gets onto a radio programme to 'clarify the position'. If you manage to talk your way onto a flight to Spain, you'll still have to have two expensive PCR tests and stay in for ten days when you get back. It's worth taking a chance. At the rate they're shifting the goalposts, not many Border controllers will have a clue anyway.
At the moment, we can only go to Spain if we have a very very important reason, like buying a house or being related to a politician. If you have pressing matters to sort out on Acension Island, Brunei or Tristan da Cunha, you're in luck, if you can find someone to take you there.
It's all to do with Covid 19, of course...or is it?
A few weeks ago, our English neighbours (bona fide Spanish Residents) came to the UK for 4 weeks to attend a funeral and attend to some important business. On arrival here they had to quarantine themselves for ten days. The cost of the PCR Covid tests they had to have came to £875 !!
That should put most people off - along with a £150,000 fine if you try to get past Border Control with a fake letter from your dying mother, or are not really related to a politician.
*As I wrote this tripe, Spain has announced that they are accepting visitors from the UK now, (with both vaccinations,?) with no restrictions.
A few minutes later the EU announced that as the UK has a lot of cases of 'the variant which originated in India' ( as we now call the 'mutant' so that India doesn't get the blame) the UK is not on their 'white list' so we can't travel to Europe at all, unless it's to Portugal or Greece. And just as I wrote that, Brexit Boris announced they we MUST NOT GO.
We went to Marks and Spencers yesterday.
Heroes of Alora
Number 3.
I heard a couple of weeks ago that Juan, of Calle Ancha, had died. I wrote about him on this very blog a couple of years ago. I noticed he wasn't around when we were in Álora last October. He lived with his sister. She told me he was in hospital.
Juan scrounged for a living which, for Juan, meant raising cash to buy enough beer to be pissed by about 1.00pm. Every day he set out from Calle Ancha very early, in search of his 'lunch money.'
During the morning he would appear in the top square with something to sell that he had 'collected' earlier in the day.
Here he is with a bunch of 'manzanilla' (chamomile) which he had picked earlier in the day. He would walk long distances to the places where he knew there were pickings. After a rainy spell he'd appears with a bucket of caracoles (snails), other times he'd have wild espárrago (asparagus), or lemons or ........and end up at Café-Bar Madrugon. On slack days he'd cadge a few euros to pay for his beer. Later he would stagger back to Calle Ancha or fall down.
Juan was part of the Plaza de la Fuente Arriba (Top Square)
scenery and 'todo un caso' (a real character).He was also good at finding lemons and oranges for us when they were not in season, even though they were a bit green.
At a time of high employment (now only a fond memory) a 'scrounger' was still regarded by the perotes (Aloraneans) as a valid career option.
Until the big influx of foreign residents from about 2002, the campo (countryside) around Álora had very few fences. Goat tracks criss-crossed the hills and valleys and no-one minded a bit of 'scrumping' by 'scroungers' on their land.
I almost admired him. A disappearing piece of traditional Andalucían life, like spitting and donkeys.
Mrs. Sánchez and I came across him one day as we were driving back from Pizarra. He had a sack of swag over his shoulder and was grateful for a lift back to Álora. He didn't actually say 'Thanks' or anything; his speech was incomprehensible at the best of times, which was quite fashionable in those days among the 'locals'.
I can't remember why Mrs. Sánchez was travelling in the back seat that day - I usually allow her in the front, but Juan jumped in beside her.
If I'd checked the mirror a few times I might have noticed the struggle that was going on on the back seat. Apparently Juan had taken a liking to Mrs.S. and fancied his chances. And he wasn't even pissed! It gave my dear lady quite a shock, I can tell you, and she was more than a little bit put out. She told me that the unsuccessful sexual assault was 'very unpleasant'.
That was the last time we gave him a lift.
That's all for now.
There's a story going round that Spain is gong to enforce an existing law that means that we will not be able to invite friends and relatives from the UK to stay with us in Álora because the UK is a 'third country' .
That's what you get for hogging all the Astra-Zeneca and leaving the European Union!!
Juanito Sánchez May21st. 2021
I
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