Pepe Botella. (Joe Bottle) King José 1st. of Spain.
'Everyone to their own fate. Yours is to be drunk until you die'
There's been a lot of talk about 'fake news' recently so I'd like take this opportunity to reassure all my loyal readers that nothing you will ever read here is in any way 'news'.
I'm sorry if any of my new 138 readers in South Korea are non-plussed by that statement but I expect the 190 Russians who have also 'viewed my page' yesterday will know what I mean. Don't ask me.......I've no idea.
I'm also delighted to report that the readership of this humble organ in The Turks and Caicos Islands has increased from 1 to 28 since those beautiful and unspoiled paradise tax havens got a mention.
The big news at the moment in Álora is the visit to our beautiful historic pueblo of 17 school students from France.
The big news at the moment in Álora is the visit to our beautiful historic pueblo of 17 school students from France.
Here they are being welcomed at the Ayuntamiento (town hall) by our Alcaldesa Accidental (Accidental Mayor), Sonia Ramos and their Spanish counterparts.They will be staying with Perote (Aloranean) families for a week and will get the chance to visit Córdoba, walk the now world famous Caminito del Rey, which is just up the road, and tuck in to our signature dish, Sopas Perotas. Mmm. Welcome to you all.
Considering that France and Spain are neighbours we don't see many French people around here, either as residents or on holiday. It's not that far away after all.
I asked the owner of my favorite bar for his opinion about the 'Gabachos' (French) and he was very negative. My old friend Antonio Martos didn't like the French either. Apparently French farmers are always attacking Spanish lorries as they head to Northern Europe with grapes, avocados,melons, oranges, lemons and wine. That's upset a few people, naturally, but the real reason for this perpetual traditional trans-Pyrenean petulance goes back two hundred years and to what Spaniards call La Guerra de la Independencia Española (1808-1814)(The Spanish War of Independence) and the British call 'The Peninsular War' (starring Sean Bean).
And the Spanish blame everything on 'Joe Bottle', Napoleon's brother.
Napoleon Bonaparte
Napoleon Bonaparte was famous for going all over Europe and into Africa bashing and biffing everybody he came across, making them learn French and buy onions. He was also very fond of robbing the countries he biffed and bashed of their best works of art so that he could fill his new Art Gallery (The Louvre) with his loot as well as portraits of himself like the one above which first attracted the lovely ('not tonight') Josephine to him.
His elder brother, Joseph was a peaceful, cultured, well meaning sort of a chap who was fond of reading, gardening, collecting butterflies, stamps and paintings until his brother spoilt everything for him by making him king of the places he had biffed and bashed.
Joseph Bonaparte (a reluctant despot)
First he was sent in 1806 to be King of Naples and the Two Sicilies where he got on quite well with the locals who had just got rid of a really nasty king. Joseph and his wife Julian Clary got on quietly with the job, Joseph with his gardening and art collection and Julian with her work with orphans and fallen women. Things seemed to be going well until his brother decided to biff the Spanish and invaded Spain, kicking out King Ferdinand Vll. Napoleon told his brother to go to Spain and grab all the loot, especially pictures, he could get his hands on and made him King José 1st. of Spain.
An angry Spanish guerrilla with a big knife
Poor Joseph was the focus of all this unpleasantness and the Spanish people even started to call him nasty names like Pepe Botella (Joe Bottle) and put the word around that he was always drunk. This upset the sensitive Joseph, who hardly drank at all, and he wrote to his brother, pleading to let him go back to being king of Naples.
"The inhabitants are opposed to the whole thing. The fact is that not a single Spaniard is on my side.'
Napoleon offered the job to another brother, Louis, who was hanging on for a better offer; England or Russia perhaps,and turned the gig down. He wrote back to Joseph,
"Stop whingeing, you disgusting fop and concentrate on nabbing the art treasures."
Things got even worse when Napoleon invaded Portugal too. England was Portugal's ally and so sent an army to biff the French,led by the Duke of Wellington who was still called Arthur Wellesley in those days.
When Joseph heard about the size of the British force he grabbed everything he could including all the Spanish crown jewels and every painting in the Spanish Royal Collection, loaded the loot into wagons and headed north with 10,000 soldiers. He got as far as Vitoria when Wellesley caught up with him and gave the French army a severe bashing (5000 deaths on each side).
The Battle of Vitoria 21st. June 1813
Joseph escaped to France but had to leave most of the loot behind. The pictures were rolled up like rugs and nobody realised how valuable they were until Wellesley, who now controlled all the loot that hadn't been grabbed by his men, changed his name to the Duke of Wellington and took them to London to be valued on the Antiques Road Show.
Considering that France and Spain are neighbours we don't see many French people around here, either as residents or on holiday. It's not that far away after all.
I asked the owner of my favorite bar for his opinion about the 'Gabachos' (French) and he was very negative. My old friend Antonio Martos didn't like the French either. Apparently French farmers are always attacking Spanish lorries as they head to Northern Europe with grapes, avocados,melons, oranges, lemons and wine. That's upset a few people, naturally, but the real reason for this perpetual traditional trans-Pyrenean petulance goes back two hundred years and to what Spaniards call La Guerra de la Independencia Española (1808-1814)(The Spanish War of Independence) and the British call 'The Peninsular War' (starring Sean Bean).
And the Spanish blame everything on 'Joe Bottle', Napoleon's brother.
Napoleon Bonaparte was famous for going all over Europe and into Africa bashing and biffing everybody he came across, making them learn French and buy onions. He was also very fond of robbing the countries he biffed and bashed of their best works of art so that he could fill his new Art Gallery (The Louvre) with his loot as well as portraits of himself like the one above which first attracted the lovely ('not tonight') Josephine to him.
His elder brother, Joseph was a peaceful, cultured, well meaning sort of a chap who was fond of reading, gardening, collecting butterflies, stamps and paintings until his brother spoilt everything for him by making him king of the places he had biffed and bashed.
First he was sent in 1806 to be King of Naples and the Two Sicilies where he got on quite well with the locals who had just got rid of a really nasty king. Joseph and his wife Julian Clary got on quietly with the job, Joseph with his gardening and art collection and Julian with her work with orphans and fallen women. Things seemed to be going well until his brother decided to biff the Spanish and invaded Spain, kicking out King Ferdinand Vll. Napoleon told his brother to go to Spain and grab all the loot, especially pictures, he could get his hands on and made him King José 1st. of Spain.
The Spaniards were very cross. They regarded the French as atheists and foreigners who deserved no mercy and 'guerrillas' started chopping up French soldiers with those big Spanish knives that you can still buy for 40€ (£33.62) in Toledo.
Poor Joseph was the focus of all this unpleasantness and the Spanish people even started to call him nasty names like Pepe Botella (Joe Bottle) and put the word around that he was always drunk. This upset the sensitive Joseph, who hardly drank at all, and he wrote to his brother, pleading to let him go back to being king of Naples.
"The inhabitants are opposed to the whole thing. The fact is that not a single Spaniard is on my side.'
Napoleon offered the job to another brother, Louis, who was hanging on for a better offer; England or Russia perhaps,and turned the gig down. He wrote back to Joseph,
"Stop whingeing, you disgusting fop and concentrate on nabbing the art treasures."
Things got even worse when Napoleon invaded Portugal too. England was Portugal's ally and so sent an army to biff the French,led by the Duke of Wellington who was still called Arthur Wellesley in those days.
When Joseph heard about the size of the British force he grabbed everything he could including all the Spanish crown jewels and every painting in the Spanish Royal Collection, loaded the loot into wagons and headed north with 10,000 soldiers. He got as far as Vitoria when Wellesley caught up with him and gave the French army a severe bashing (5000 deaths on each side).
Joseph managed to get away with a fortune in jewellery. His family fled to Switzerland and after his brother was defeated at The Battle of Waterloo they caught a boat to the USA, bought some land in New Jersey and lived happily ever after, becoming pillars of American society.
But they still hate him in Spain.
One of the looted jewels, a big pear shaped 550 year old pearl called La Peregrina surfaced when Richard Burton paid $37,000 for it in 1969 as a Valentine's Day present for Elizabeth Taylor.
One of the looted jewels, a big pear shaped 550 year old pearl called La Peregrina surfaced when Richard Burton paid $37,000 for it in 1969 as a Valentine's Day present for Elizabeth Taylor.
In 2011 it was sold at Christie's for $11.8 million to an anonymous Asian buyer.
The Duke of Wellington tried to give all the Spanish paintings back to the restored Spanish king, Ferdinand Vll but Ferdinand was so grateful to Wellington (and not a great art lover) that he let him keep all the pictures, gave him a Spanish title , Duke of Ciudad Rodrigo and a large part of Andalucía at Illora, near Granada which the Wellington family still owns but the duke never visited. You can still see the pictures in Apsley House (National Trust), The Wellingtons' 'town residence'. (address: Number One, London.).
The locals aren't too happy with the Wellesley family these days.
"It's a mini-Gibraltar," said Francisco Domene, the socialist mayor of the nearby town of Illora, who has launched legal action to challenge ownership of the estate.
The locals aren't too happy with the Wellesley family these days.
"It's a mini-Gibraltar," said Francisco Domene, the socialist mayor of the nearby town of Illora, who has launched legal action to challenge ownership of the estate.
The mayor argues that the original
royal decree gifting land to the first Duke of Wellington was expanded
on without authorisation by subsequent heirs. He is calling for 1,000
hectares of the 5,000 hectare estate to be expropriated.
Hey ho.
.
Last Sunday Mrs, Sánchez and I went up to La Ermita de Las Tres Cruces for the annual 'Verdiales' festival. Four villages from Málaga province provide 9 Verdiales pandas (groups) for the competition. It was a beautiful May morning and our friend Ana Molina brought along a picnic! (no Sopas Perotas but a delicious tortilla).
Álora was represented by Sonia, our Alcaldesa Accidental because our real mayor, José Sánchez Moreno (no relation) is out of action at the moment. I buttonholed Sonia to ask, on your behalf, when we could expect the restoration of 'Epi', as he is fondly called by colleagues and townsfolk alike. She was non- committal but gave me a kiss, which was nice.
And finally.
I'd like to express my thanks to the town of Casarabonela for bestowing upon the Sánchez family the inestimable honour of having one of their streets named after us.
Hey ho.
.
Last Sunday Mrs, Sánchez and I went up to La Ermita de Las Tres Cruces for the annual 'Verdiales' festival. Four villages from Málaga province provide 9 Verdiales pandas (groups) for the competition. It was a beautiful May morning and our friend Ana Molina brought along a picnic! (no Sopas Perotas but a delicious tortilla).
Álora was represented by Sonia, our Alcaldesa Accidental because our real mayor, José Sánchez Moreno (no relation) is out of action at the moment. I buttonholed Sonia to ask, on your behalf, when we could expect the restoration of 'Epi', as he is fondly called by colleagues and townsfolk alike. She was non- committal but gave me a kiss, which was nice.
And finally.
I'd like to express my thanks to the town of Casarabonela for bestowing upon the Sánchez family the inestimable honour of having one of their streets named after us.
Only a 'rincon' but it's a start. I can't imagine why they thought I was a 'niño of 'Bonela' though.
Only a 'rincon' but it's a start..
Juanito Sánchez
May 10'th 2017.
Juanito Sánchez
May 10'th 2017.
Edujoyable! See my email re "Men of Quelfes"
ReplyDeleteThe link didn't work.
DeleteUn abrazo