After 10 weeks of R&R in a very sunny Birmingham Mr. and Mrs Sánchez are happy to announce that our broken bones have now mended sufficiently to revisit la escena del crimen ( the scene of the crime), Álora. Unfortunately we won't make it back in time to watch La Vuelta de España bicycle race pass through the town on Sunday.
The last time this happened was in 2015 and they didn't have time to stop in any of Álora's many attractive bars for a cold beer and a tapa. This year I am reliably informed that there will be a ten minute break for them all to tuck into a dish of our signature scoff Las Sopas Perotas. That should slow them down a bit.
We can't wait to get back and hear all the news. If it's anything like past years this will mainly be;
- It's been SO hot this summer
- A bar has shut down
- A bar has opened
- Someone has died.
We shall be back in time for the second biggest event of the year in Álora, The Romería, which kicks off on Sunday when our Patrona, La Virgen de las Flores is carried down from El Convento up on the Ardales road, where she has spent the last twelve months, to the Parroquía (parish church) down in La Plaza Baja de La Despedía (Bottom Square). I hope someone's looked at the timing of these two important events, particularly at the Fuente de la Mania roundabout where both routes cross. I'm only saying....
La Patrona arriving in La Plaza Baja
'Sty-high: pigs outnumber people in Spain as demand for pork soars' Guardian newspaper 22nd August 2018
It will come as no suprise to anyone that there is a lot of pork in Spain.
According to Spain's Environment Ministry there are now 50 million pigs in Spain which outnumbers the human population by 3.5 millions. The Daily Telegraph had a similar story on 19th. August but their headline read;
'Slaughtered Spanish Pigs Now Outnumber Spaniards.'
and they quote the same number - 50 million.
Now there seems to a bit of a discrepancy here. I would be a bit worried if live pigs outnumbered the human population. Have you read Animal Farm?
You'd think that five million dead pigs wouldn't seem so much of a threat, especially if you like sausages, but not a bit of it (as Robert Robinson used to say). 4 million tonnes of pork products a year are creating serious environmental problems and Spain is only the second highest consumer of pork in Europe.
'Not a bit of it!'
Greenpeace has published a pamphlet entitled 'The Unsustainable Meat Footprint in Spain'. In Spain 'meat' usually means pork, except when it's ham which, apparently, is a vegetable.
All these pigs managed to leave behind them 86 million tons of carbon dioxide 60 million cubic metres of slurry and they drank 48 million cubic metres of water in the process.
'¿Y a mi qué?
They don't smell too good either. I never remember to shut all the car windows as we approach the La Serrana gasolinera on the way to Málaga.
The question we should all be asking ourselves is;
'Why don't they sell pork pies in Spain?'
You have to go to Iceland down in the English Protecorate (Costa del Sol) to score a Melting Melton Mowbray Mouthful.
Who da Pope?
No stay in the Uk would be complete without a visit to the provinces and so last week Mrs. Sánchez and I packed our (still valid) British passports and headed Up North to visit mi cuñada (my sister-in- law and Mrs.S's sister) in Oldham which used to be in Lancashire but has moved to Geater Manchester for safety.
Mrs. S's sister has recently joined our 'Fracture Club' which now includes Mr. and Mrs. Sánchez, (broken wrist, broken ankle), Colin the Carer (broken shoulder), Mrs. S's sister (broken shoulder) and the wife of a friend who also lives in Oldham (broken arm.).
While we were there a number of Oldhamers told us proudly that their far from fair town is about to become home to 'The Coptic Pope', (Pope Tawadros 2nd. of Alexandria)
Now, everyone knows that the real pope is visiting Ireland at the moment and has no intention of leaving his cushy pitch in Rome but The Coptic Pope is, apparently, taking advantage of the depressed property prices in Oldham to establish his HQ. in the former Oldham Convent.
(Werneth Grange)
£850,000 ono.
There used to be 6 Catholic nuns at the convent and they ran a primary school. Our daughter went there for a short time until we realised you had to pay fees. The nuns have grown old or died and there is a world wide shortage of nuns at the moment. The real pope decided it wasn't economically viable to keep the convent open and nobody in Oldham could afford to pay the school fees so the Sisters of Mercy have departed and gone to Salford.
Werneth Grange is one of Oldham's Grade 2 listed buildings. I can't remember the name of the other one. I think old Tawadros has scooped up a bargain.
There's even another Pope of Alexandria, Pope Theodore 2nd. This must have led to a lot of friction and confusion in Alexandria over the years, with mail going astray, invitations to weddings and stag nights going to the wrong address etc. Let's hope the move to Oldham will help matters.
The fourth and last pope (so far) is Pope Peter 3rd. of Palmaria which is a small village in the West Riding of Yorkshire.
See you in Álora.
Juanito Sánchez 25th. August 2018
Another good read. Gracias Juan.
ReplyDeleteNo hay de qué,tio.
ReplyDeleteWhats the story with all the manholes on Veracruz.....the noise.....and the street is falling apart 😣
ReplyDeleteOpen manhole?
ReplyDeleteI'll look into it and report back.